So I was taken out on Saturday. By whom, you might ask, well, the lovely fluffy Scott of course, which necessitated a visit to the glamourous XXL. We showed Wil around, and thought we’d scare him with the dark room, alas, it was I who was scared. I somehow managed to lose both Scott and Wil, and found myself clamped between an orgy of 5 fat men in a corner. Certainly it was interesting if nothing else, and more than mesmorising watching fat rolls jiggle and bounce up and down, rather like a human lava lamp. Having managed to escape, a mere hour after being captured by only the hairiest of voluptuous men, I found myself alone, for Scott and Wil had abandoned all hope of finding me alive and not suffocated, and had got a taxi home. It was to this end that I decided to follow..... home that is. Having been a fool and left my mobile at home, I decided to check it for missed calls and texts as one would upon such a reunion with technology. I found 9 texts, and for the purposes of this, 2 are irrelevant. The remaining 7 however, did serve to lighten my mood slightly, as sweat from largely obese men does tend to dampen that, and they go as follows :- “I’d wrap a blind fold tite around ur eyes, tie ur hands 2 the door handle then tie ur ankles 2getha, lift u up & slide myself between ur hairy thighs” but wait, that was just one text.... they followed on “my buldgin purple head stroking u & brushing against ur balls while i open the condom packet (how sweet he observes safe sex in texts - ed) i lube ur arse well, all wet n slippery, i grab ur thighs lift u 2 my waist level then slide my hard meat deep inside u, thrusting u, pumping u hard, my balls slappin against ur tite cheeks, u feel my warm precum inside u, as I bang u deeper, harder n faster, i grab ur stiff cock & start wankin u off hardcore pullin ur juicy foreskin right back makin u groan, my hand bangin against ur fat hairy balls as my shaft opens you wider & wider, stretchin ur moist tite boy cunt raw.” The next text I read went thus “Oh god im sorry wrong numba. X” swiftly followed by “Hey bud how r u 2day? just wanna apologise 4 msg earlier, was meant 2 go 2 m8 as wind up, woops! no hard feelings eh?” As this is someone I have yet to meet, I’m suddenly filled with reservations, is it really a case of mistaken identity, or a flimsy attempt to get me horny in my boy parts?! Either way I found myself amused by his beligerance, I can only hope his fool-hardishness continues to amuse and bemuse.