I am going to a sex club tonight in polite company. How amusing! I am also going to Leeds soon and to Portugal (fingers xd) next month. Irony being Portugal’s cheaper to get to unless I get the bus. To Leeds that is - no buses to Portugal... I’ve worked out why it won’t work between Chris and me. Took a bit of time, but hey. And although he is very special to me, and not just another one, as João said...plenty more fish in the sea. He’s the Portugese Fisherman, I’m the British Fisherman. And really, I may not want anyone right now, but that’ll change. I don’t actually need anyone else so I’ll just see where things take me. And stop going out with people just because I miss James and want to find another one. Tho that’s not the only reason I went out with Possom features, before anyone gets overexcited and presses the big red “block” button again Finally starting to be unhappy at work. Generally unhappy with how things are in my life. So time for a change. Time to stop wasting time with people who don’t care either way. I need to be loved, but I always seem to forget that I *am* loved. One day I’ll find someone to build a life with again. But I don’t *need* someone. I have my pretend family. I have the people round me who will pick me up when I fall. They’re the ones who I don’t need to ask to be there for me - they just are. I live in the twilight, constantly watching the future as it streams out in front of me. I drive it from the now. The brief moment between past and future. A change here, a possibility arises. A change there, a door is shut. So no more beer for a while, let’s see how close to the sun I can fly. I just closed some doors - let’s see what opened in their place... Like my dead friend Emma used to say - “life’s a bitch”. She never really understood that life is you and you are life. I got to be a bit part in someone else’s karma for a time. Not doing that again - gonna pay more attention to what’s going to happen, but this time with an eye on the now... All this is entirely an excuse to say “sorry, too busy watching Galactica to do more freakcity”. Anyone wanna be my date for Serenity on Sat? Chris is already taken.