Productive day at work. Tried using string.split() to discover I’m using Java 1.3 and not 1.4. Oops. Suspect I’ll try the String Tokenizer and see if it’ll work and if not I’ll attempt to make Debian work with 1.4. Fun Managed to send it into a loop which killed the server. Restarted the server to discover it doesn’t like me any more and won’t restart...ah well! Ernie promised to help me set it up right today... I’d forgotten how chilling the end of “Get Out Of My House” is...possibly because of the subject matter Chatted to ref:João a bit yesterday but was knackered and felt down so just went and found the MT lot in the Green Man and arranged to see him tonight instead Gaz is down this weekend, so I’ve been summoned to Retro to see him tonight. I may avoid getting drunken Helen handed out the agenda in the pub for the mini meet - there was some squabbling about quite how many items should involve taking the piss out of winjer (mojococo) - and the aforementioned wanted to add Kev’s (akira_kev) beard to the agenda - which we grudgingly allowed. An agenda was slipped behind the picture frame behind Helen to satisfy the paranoid. Left at just after 10 and headed home - walked from Oxford Street to Embankment, deep in thought. Felt melancholic apathy soak through my mind as I tried to work out what I want. Still don’t know, but feel I’m in a month of transition - I feel dead inside, incapable of moving on from the past. Or maybe unwilling to? For all its bad points, the time I was with James was one of the best times of my life and I don’t know if I’ll ever find anything like that again. Or maybe I don’t want to - I draw sadness around me like a well worn coat and at least I know I’ll not be hurt more if I don’t reach out to anyone. The old adage “you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone” is very true...