AdamAlarming, blonde, comical, dizzy, evil, feculating, gratuitous, handsome, intellectual, jolly, kitten-ish, lovely, morish, nonse, opulant, precious, queen, ravisher, shopper, tall, undeniable, verocious, wanker, xenophobe, yellowed, zany; is how the alphabet would describe me

Bingowings’s blog

Psychosis is fun!

Tuesday January 2nd, 2007 at 19:10pm

Been a while, some remember me, whilst others choose to forget. I’ve been moving too quickly to keep with those who are disinterested, however, it’s nice to let everyone know how I’m doing. Recently, that’s not been too good. I learnt I’m quite mad, I also learnt why I compartmentalised and I learnt that not doing so is really rather difficult. I saw my Dad on the 27th December, which was worrying. More worrying was hearing him talk too. This, for those who don’t know, is quite unnatural, for someone who’s been dead for 6 years. So after a brief talk to the kind folks at NHS direct, an ambulance came, alas not with men in white coats. But I now live in a bipolar world coupled with psychosis, where unreal things appear real and real things appear unreal and the difference between them is impossible for me to tell. On the plus side, I got beefy pills, which are big enough and numerous enough to count as a meal in themselves, along with a lovely certificate that says I’m not allowed to work for a while. If only I knew skiving work was as easy as having a psychotic break! On the plus side, I got the help I need, because I asked for it...which is different for me as usually I have to be pointed towards help. It also means I can work on getting better and I have support for that too. I feel stronger for realising what was happening and taking steps to correct it. Now if only I could get rid of the feeling that makes me want to cry at the drop of a hat. Moved house too on Friday, which was excellent, because now I have a home and not just a random roof over my head. Suddenly I find being me is a little more barable, less and less living for other people, but with them : ) I like that, I like that a lot. Other than the above, life is quite boring, not being able to work and all, but nothing beats being bored in your own to make daytime TV better : P

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