Freakcity

AdamAlarming, blonde, comical, dizzy, evil, feculating, gratuitous, handsome, intellectual, jolly, kitten-ish, lovely, morish, nonse, opulant, precious, queen, ravisher, shopper, tall, undeniable, verocious, wanker, xenophobe, yellowed, zany; is how the alphabet would describe me

Bingowings’s blog

This me me

Sunday August 28th, 2005 at 14:58pm

Well this is me, many of you have gotten to know me for who I am and although I have found new things out about myself, in essence I haven’t changed. That was good, it gave me self-confidance, I, for the first time, believed in myself. Now who I am seems to be a problem for some people. I say this to them.... I am me, I have always been me, nothing else, you accepted me then, why it’s a problem now I don’t know, but it seems it is. This is something for you to get over. I am not changing. I am happy being me and if you can’t deal with that now then that is your problem to figure out. I refuse to enter this game of politics, I don’t need an epiphany to find my true friends. To the ones who would before have called themselves friends, this is my position and I will not change from it:- you knew me, you know me, you don’t like me now, that’s your deal, not mine. With everything that seems to be going on people want someone to blame, then blame me, I am beyond the point of caring. I have been hurt by people I trusted, people have been two-faced and I have found out the long hard way. Well, it stops now and I mean NOW. If anyone has anything to say against me, have the common decency to say it to my face, many of you it seems can’t do that, but grow some balls and say it to my face, it saves everytone a whole lot of drama, innuendo, backstabbing and general bad feelings. I have had enough of all of this. I’m not stupid or blind, I know what’s been said and by whom and it’s pure cowardice to not tell it to me personally when it involves me. I gave you the credit to think if you had a problem you’d say it to me, it seems that was too much, you wont have that credit again. Scott, I love you dearly, you are still everything I ever said you were to me, I don’t want to lose you, but now that is your choice. I hope we don’t split paths, but if we do I wish you all the best. I just never want to see things I said to you in private written on a public journal again, especially if you don’t talk to me about it first. I wish things could have ended on a better note, but such is life. Now we pick up the pieces and carry on as best we can. If you still want me in your life then we have something to work from. If not, then I hope you do well in whatever you do. I would like to point out that up until the part about Scott....this was directed at more than one person, I say that simply so no more blame gets thrown. As I said, if you want to blame someone for everything that’s not going your way in life right now, BLAME ME, I truly don’t care, I’m beyond that and I’m above this game of politics, which is why it ends now..... with me, the buck stops here. Do what you will, take care, have fun, above all, have some respect for people you would call friends, if you can’t do that, you can’t respect yourself.

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