Why do we do it? The horror of loneliness? The fear of oneself? Why do we trap ourselves in the known and fear the unknown? Everyone seems to get stuck at some point in their life. It might be a situation, it might be a lost love, it might simply be the joy of youth. You get fixated. You wish for that which is gone to be true again because you truly believe that that was the only time you were happy. Which is WRONG. This denies you the full scope of new possibility. You will only be happy in a different way through the joy of accident. You, who mourns your youth, never thinking that it is in adulthood that we truly become who we are. You who looks back and wishes he could do it all again with what he knows now. STOP. Listen to yourself. Who are you? If you can’t move forward in life then what is the point in living? You who longs for your lost love. Who constantly finds in others remnants of that first spark. Who wants so badly to just go back and do it right. Who regrets what happened and feels sorrow and remorse. Who wonders why it always goes so predictably wrong. STOP. You are damaging yourself. You are damaging every single person you become emotionally attached to. The past is GONE. That person is GONE. You will never have that feeling again, you MUST accept that, because you will never grow past it unless you do. And when you are free of it you will be able to have a relationship with another person, not simply the memory of the one you lost. And then that person will respond and react to you and not feel like an inferior copy of your ex. You, who was hurt so very long ago. Who can’t see other people without seeing their ability to damage you. Who treads an emotional backwater, stilted relationships, never letting anyone in. You, who is incapable of simply knowing people without wearing your pain as a badge. You inconsolable drunken fool trapped in the memory of pain. You, love junkie, believing that sharing your pain with other pain filled love junkies will somehow make the pain go away and the love you feel make you special. You, who wonders why you always get hurt. STOP. Move through the pain. See that people are all unique, different and wonderful. See that you are too, you do not need to wear your pain as a badge, you do not need to wave your scars at others for them to take you seriously. Move away from the pain, realise that pain attracts more pain. Leave it behind, become a whole person. Embrace your wholeness, your uniqueness, it is your gift which you choose to share with those around you. They are blessed by your wisdom and knowledge. Being trapped in a cycle is one thing. Being trapped in a cycle and realising it is quite another. This one goes out to you, chickenhawks, desperately trying to relive the youth you believe was denied you through another. This one goes out to you, chickenhawks, trying to recreate your first love. You say that age doesn’t matter, but you lie. At least realise why you’re doing it. Stopping yourself from damaging yourself is the best thing you can do. This one goes out to you, you’re in your 20s now and dreaming of the better days, when everyone liked you, when you were younger. When you drank and got high. So you go out, drink until you are sick. Wonder why people move away from you. Wake up hurt and wishing it’d be like it used to be. It WON’T ever be like that again. Time has moved on. Time to find a new path. And this one goes out to me. Trapped in a cycle of depression. Only the names change, the situations don’t. So I step outside and begin to live a little...