Feel like I need a few week’s sleep at the moment. Bah. Oh well, fun anyways. Didn’t do much other than code at the weekend. Gotta get me a life, I suppose...still, got some good stuff finished, plus I sorted out a whole load of bugs. Next up is the amazing events system I have planned, along with the fabulous mobile video blogging stuff. Made a toolbar, as I mentioned. Means that all the images are kept in the same place now, without the blogs table having a special column for images. Normalisation’s what it’s all about. Replication of data is bad and it makes more sense to have an optional field in its own table to cut down on DB wastage.
Dead image icon Because of this, you can now look at all the images you’ve ever uploaded to freakcity, remove any you don’t want (if they appear in a blog and you delete them, don’t worry, they’ll just be replaced by the dead image icon. Soon you’ll be able to swap them about, create a photo album out of some of them and create avatars out of some of them too. We have shitloads (technical term) of space still on the server so I’m not that bothered by letting people upload piccies as much as they want, for now. Watched a TV show by Stephen Fry about depression — there was a part of the show where he said (and I paraphrase) “I didn’t realise I was getting worse”. Which made me think of a few things. One, Southpark ("I didn’t know you were depressed, Stan" "No, nor did I"), two, perhaps he’s not getting worse but techniques for diagnosis are getting better, making the diagnoses more thorough. I’m still not sold on the idea of Bipolarity — this is how I see it: The body is capable of making endorphins that make us high It’s possible to become addicted to these highs With every high comes an equally extreme low (I’m a big believer in the whole balance of things mental) Therefore, if you give in to your addiction to the highs (it can be euphoric being manic) then you’re letting yourself in for a low. In much the same way as a drug addict has a comedown after the event. Therefore it’s entirely possible to control this using willpower, not resorting to drugs. Also: Labelling people who misbehave (for want of a better word) as having a problem gives them a) an excuse to continue behaving badly and b) something to blame it on that’s outside of their control. I know that I could have manic episodes. I can feel it inside me from time to time, but I’m fairly sure I’ll never let myself, I can almost detach myself and “look in” from the outside where my depression is concerned. It’s hard to explain, but some days I feel like death, but there’s always the “core” of me that’s able to recognise that this isn’t how I normally feel and that this is actually my depression. Maybe other people find it difficult to find their own “core”? It strikes me that most of the people I know who’ve had bipolar disorder or manic depression don’t really know who they are. They’re lost in the mania, they continually feel that they’re acting and that it’s so much effort to act but that they can’t stop. Which in turn leads to paranoia and can lead to schizophrenia and/or mpd in some severe cases. The paranoia comes about because you feel worthless. You feel worthless because you know it’s all an act, but you know that if you were just yourself, no-one would like you. Therefore no-one knows you. Therefore no-one actually cares about you, they care about this mythic thing that you’ve created. And you hate that mythic thing, they love it, therefore they’re all bastards. Ish. My mind runs over and over these things because I see drugs as NOT the way forward for ANY mental issue. When a brain is functioning correctly (as is the brain of a person with bipolarity - you can’t see any difference in a scan) then the person in control of that brain is the person who should fix things. I think, in 100 years time, we’ll be vi