Freakcity

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寿忽都Freakcity’s daddeh.

Scott’s blog

Musings on a world I am no longer sure about

A fell wind blows across the land.

Friday March 31st, 2006 at 9:01am

"EVIL SHOPPING OF DOOM :Picture (clicky) Again waiting for a bus. Again not enough sleep. Oh well. Woke up at 6:30 — very wide awake, no chance of falling back to sleep. Grr. Changed the profiles last night, fiddled more this morning. Sunin can now put “bottom” on his. Like anyone doesn’t already know... Have put on weight again. Grr. Going to have to watch what I eat a bit better I think. Yesterday was mostly uneventful. Popped into Somerfields to check the “reduced” aisle only to find £7 worth of chicken breast for £1.70. So I got red pepper and corguette and headed home for lovely yummy foodness. The shopping was eevil In my fridge I had shallots and asparagus. In my cupboard I had pasta, worcester sauce, rock salt, pepper corns and oregano. On the side I had the remains of some months old white wine. Put pasta on to boil. finely chopped the corguettes and then added them to a pan of smoking hot extra virgin olive oil to flash fry them. Let them get a bit charred for flavour. Finely chopped the shallots and added them in. Finely chopped the asparagus and red pepper and added them in too. Seasoned with oregano, salt, pepper and worcester sauce. Took off heat and took pasta off too. Diced the chicken breast and again, smoking hot oil, flash fried until the outside is just about cooked. Did this in a big pan as I then added everything else in. Added in everything else plus the white wine (probably about a glass full). Left it simmering too long. Grr. Meant to check it until the chicken chunks are just cooked through so they’re light and fluffy, but mine were a little chewy. Ah well, TJ seemed impressed. Gonna add in Journal stalking at lunch I think. Have a better idea about the back end so want to test it ; )

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Hm.

Thursday March 30th, 2006 at 10:25am

I possibly bought too much from Play... Skin - Fake Chemical State Sin City The Ultimate Matrix Collection (10 Discs) Ulysses 31 - Vol.1 Sphere - Special Edition Mars Attacks Woops... And my bills every month (inc rent) total £1701.54 Jaysus. Rent’s only £690 of that Remind me to...er...oh I don’t know. Someone be my sugar daddeh?

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Circling issues, not once touching them

Thursday March 30th, 2006 at 8:45am

sun! (clicky)
sun!
The morning sun is hot today. Shining from a pale blue wispy sky. It’ll last long enough to prove a point but not until the weekend. William told me he was leaving for Bangkok on Wednesday, I told him I’d make it sunny on Thursday. Smirk. It’s too early in the year to manage much more than morning sun, I doubt it’ll have the strength to punch through the clouds that’ll appear later. Photoshoot guy didn’t turn up, but I’m thinking of getting a commercial profile and doing photos properly for a month, ,just to see what happens. Arranged to possibly see Dom after work — so headed home. How I’ve changed - a month ago I’d have waited in town for him and been disappointed. Went home with turkey escalopes and fresh pasta with pesto inside. Cooked and decided to watch Episode IV for shits and giggles. Me an TJ picked lots of holes in it. Was fun. Read a surreal article about a certain dead black soul singer being outed posthumously. Freaky. Tweaked the new ASPQuoteBot some. Got hungry again so made mushrooms deep fried in batter (isn’t fannybatter a wonderful word?). As ever, made too much batter, so just deep fried the rest. Nibbles! As TJ hadn’t seen it before I showed him the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I think he was equal parts shocked/disturbed/amused. Which is good. Bought cod liver oil capsules. Cod is a vegetable, it’s ok. Sunin is visiting tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday. And there was much rejoicing! Spinning around, spiralling down, everything looks grey, ashen. No hope of your dreams so may as well crash and burn. Nothing matters any more. Endless time escaping, but every escape leads inevitably to the truth, in the end. But I am still here, all you need to do is reach out and touch. I am strong enough to carry you, at least until you can carry yourself again.

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Well...

Wednesday March 29th, 2006 at 15:22pm

GRAF! (clicky)
GRAF!
I didn’t get the camera, refused credit. Bah! But I knew it... Sam’s cousin’s murderers appears to have been put in prison for life All the code in the world is broken thingbox is being silly I’m tired and haven’t heard from Mr Photoshoot yet so might have a night off. I’ve rewritten quotebot as a TCL+ASP script running from the freakcity database itself instead of a seperate synched postgres one. I found some pretty graf at lunch. (See attached picture) Today is a fat day as I had fried chicken to drown my sorrows after being refused credit. Sinful Lunch(TM) There’s a small churchyard near where I work. It’s open to the public and has a few benches in. It’s a welcome oasis of calm amongst all the main roads and people in Soho. I’m considering making packed lunches again and sitting out there when the weather gets better. Rained on me again. Was a nice rain, refreshing. As I walked up to the photography shop I felt something I hadn’t in a long time. I can’t really put it into words, it’s like catching a riff of a song...you recognise it but can’t place where from or what it is. All I know is that I sensed it meant I was on the right tracks. It was something that evoked how I used to feel when I was younger. It was reassuring and fluffy. One of the guys here is convinced he’s cursed. Every time he goes to the coffee machine he has to do something to it. He was stood behind me as I made my coffee, and the machine ran out of water half way through, I assumed it was because he was stood there, the thought amused me as I filled the water tank and replaced it in the machine. Then after making more coffee to top it up I left and noticed that it’d asked him to remove the grounds (the used coffee remains after it’s been ground and put into lovely cups). So he’s definitely cursed. Have just been convinced to go into a meeting for an hour and a half. A pointless and dull meeting. That will probably make me want to shoot people. Ho hum. * Scott loads gun

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Quietly waiting for a bus...

Wednesday March 29th, 2006 at 10:22am

Pwetty. (clicky)
Pwetty.
Yesterday I added quotes to freakcity’s front page. Today I shall rewrite QuoteBot. Cleaned up lots of odds and sods — removed dead pages and the like. Also found and corrected the last few pages still showing the old look. Now I have to implement groups (and I know now how to do that — It’s all in my brain : D). Supposedly doing a photoshoot tonight. Will see if he contacts me. Tried to contact Three yesterday but their email form appears to be fucked. Yay. Saunad after work. No talent so came home again. Put the feta cheese and spinach lattice in the oven and sniggered at thingbox some. Sno apparently has joined and there’s a big flamewar going on. Ate the lattice. Posted some shit. Carried on working on Freakcity. Going to try and get the EOS20D on 7 months interest free credit at lunch. Will probably be turned down, which is a shame considering I can afford to pay it all off in 7 months. Worked out how much I pay every month in credit cards and loans. It’s more than the rent on my entire 2 bed flat. Still, only a year left on my biggest one, then imma be rich : D Pissed it down on the way home. Ended up lost in thought as the rain splattered against the windows of the bus — the twinkling patterns of headlights hypnotic in the dark. Beautiful in a strange way. More DOM stuff at work, as well as fitting my lovely CSS into the new code. Well, when I eventually get there. Bah. I should not code in the mornings... Must go see The Hills Have Eyes — it looks cool • 9:34: Grr. Bus dead Previous blog entry title strangely prophetic. Dammit. * Scott waits for next bus...in the rain...

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Wooyeah!

Tuesday March 28th, 2006 at 8:59am

My impromptu studio ;) (clicky)
My impromptu studio ; )
Fucking typical — the black sheet is only black on one side. Is white on the other side. Bah! I wonder if I can convince anyone to give me a new camera before tomorrow : D My impromptu studio worked gorgeously — check TJ out on flickr : D Showed (well, made) TJ make pancakes. Worked well with rice milk an all ; ) Today I’m working and then hopefully saunaing. Going to add something new to the front page too at lunch. My phone randomly went flat overnight. Wah! Have a song in my head. Have sung it quietly (and embarassedly) into my Tungsten, need to get it down. The “Crystaleyes” box in this bus just told me about today, tomorrow and Tuesday’s weather. Nice to see they keep them up to date... In the office now. One of the good things about working for a company that specialises in UM including voicemail and wap is that when you’re a fuckwit that forgets to charge your phone, you’re able to borrow one of the office chargers to charge it. And I just hit “strong” on the coffee maker. IF I vibrate onto another dimension, do come rescue me? Short entry? Oh well : D Welcome to Tuesday, you Tuesday people!

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Windy in Essex

Monday March 27th, 2006 at 21:33pm

My photography kit at Chafford Hundred station (clicky)
My photography kit at Chafford Hundred station
Having acquired my photography stuff — spent the afternoon working hard with Dom trees and fun like that. Found a couple of bugs in FC and fixed all but one too. Unfortunately I didn’t get out of work until 7:30 scuppering my chances of finding a DIY shop open to get a stepladder. Wah! So came back via Limehouse in the hope the lil garden place was open and might sell them. Which it wasn’t and probably doesn’t. Wahx2! Brainwave. As far as I remembered (and TJ confirmed), Lakeside is open until 10 so I scooted down here to see what I could find. And I found Argos : D Bought a stepladder and stopped in a DVD shop just long enough to make sure I missed my train. So I’m sat on a bench in the wind, watching silhouetted cars go past, black against the twinkling yellow lights of Thurrock. 16 minutes of cold left until my train takes me home. I feel so much freer than I did. Like a great tiredness has been lifted from me. I hope it lasts, I really do. I just feel capable of so much at the moment. I just don’t have time. Come summer I hope to be doing the cycle thing again — and I hope to do the Glastonbury thing again too, see what I can see with my eyes fully open. Going to assemble my “studio” when I get in and do some shots of TJ to see how they come out. Hope they let me on the DLR with the ladder. Heh! So my roadmap. Work Java certification, more learning and more experience Home Careful building of inside and out. More alternative choices, less time in bars. Music Finish my album, possibly with João’s help (well, he offered, and he’s moving here soon) Freakcity Build a java session framework that’s lightweight and uses little memory. Personal Not fall off the wagon. Be more confident in myself and what I can do. Be less shy. Find new people who “get” me. Maybe meet someone and start to build something, although that’s not a high priority after last time. Explore things ; ) I spoke to James today. He’s back in the states and loving it. Off to Disneyworld soon, the big kid. Back mid April, I made him promise to come see me and hug me. I need to get away from Britain again. I’d love to go back to Amsterdam. £50 return plus €8 a night camping. Anyone? Or I’m just gonna take João up on visiting him in the summer : ) So. Home, pancakes and photos. I am going to teach Teej to pancake : D Well, if you can make them with rice milk, that is. They don’t work so well with soya milk ; )

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feh

Monday March 27th, 2006 at 13:42pm

Made the “today I am mostly” bit of freakcity last night. Finished at about 2am. I really shouldn’t do that on a school night, tsk. Think I’ve worked out how to do groups with subqueries. So will experiment later today (I hope) Put on 1lb since Friday. Woops. I guess having bacon eggs and mushrooms with (deep) fried bread, then pizza and chicken wings on Saturday and then rib eye steak and chips on Sunday was possibly a bad idea. Oh well ; ) Rain everywhere. No comment about the “today I am mostly” thing but people are using it. Had about 16 people online last night and it was still nippy and nothing broke. Might try profiles bits tonight if I have time. Or might just play with photography stuff. I still need to get a stepladder from somewhere... Went to the London Graphics Centre and abused Dave who was just leaving to go on his lunch break. By abused I mean “not acted like a shy cockpot for a change” and said hello. A nice lady got me two rolls, one black, one white. I then went to the hardware store down the road and got two broomsticks. So my plans to take over the world photographically are well in hand : D Salad for lunch. I will lose more weight, dammit...

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From popbitch...

Monday March 27th, 2006 at 10:40am

“I’ve been making thousands of pounds a month testing out these new drugs , i dont want to get all big-headed about it though” * Scott smirks...

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Comedy

Sunday March 26th, 2006 at 19:56pm

Strange things are afoot in the Idea shop ;) (clicky)
Strange things are afoot in the Idea shop ; )
Arranged to meet Lloyd and Owen at Retro but ate too many twiglets at work (What do you mean that the big packets aren’t just for one person? ; )) and ended up feeling very shitty. Coupled with the growing sense of unease I’m trying to get used to when hanging around with lots of people. A lot of it coming from a member in our group, through no fault of his own : S Barclays last month paid me earlier in the evening than this month so I was also without cash until much later so I couldn’t take O to the sauna or pay back Lloyd. So we left Retro and O took me to the sauna. Giggle. Sat in the jacuzzi chatting — O found something nice to play with and I wandered about enjoying the view. Lost O after he went for a fag and an hour or so later found RobL who told me O had gone. Oops. Stayed waaay too late, having fun for the most part (accidentally groping a balding 40yr old in the darkroom and not realising until I saw him in the light was not fun, but hey, it was dark : D). Left at about 5:30am — checked my phone to discover a text from O reading “I guess you must have gone home” which I amusedly replied to. Mild out, sun was just breaking. Little fluffy clouds stained pale yellow by our rising star were etched against the deep blue of twilight. 8°C out so perfect for walking and contemplating life. Realised I feel stronger now than I have in a long while, almost like I’m waking up after a long alcoholic sleep. Realised I’m not the scared boy I used to be, terrified of my friends seeing the real me. I don’t need escapism, I don’t need a crutch. I need to immerse myself in life, revelling in every single emotion, every single part of it, bad or good. And when I am in tune, when my voice again joins the single song, the uni-verse, I will again be whole, and nothing except maybe my throat will stop me. My reverie was halted on Commercial Street by a wizened old hag asking me if I wanted any business. Tsk. Walked to Aldgate and got the 15 home via the 24 hr shop near my old flat. Bought bacon, eggs and OJ as well as Perrier. Posh breakfast. Forgot sausages though, d’oh. Back home at about 6:30am I thought I’d simply upgrade Novak. Well, I had been awake nearly 24 hours and I did think it was a clever idea. My fifth B5 script book had arrived too and I thought I could read whilst the server did things. Almost fell asleep then remembered that my alarm was set so went to bed for half an hour whilst Fedora tried to install a new OS on Novak. Woke up to find out it’d crashed part way through. Grr. So gave up and went to bed until about 11:30. Spent the whole of Saturday arguing with the fucking thing. Eventually got it to sort of upgrade by doing a minimal clean install on my dirty partitions and then had to set about fixing/upgrading the rest of it. So I still don’t have X working and I have lost the settings I painstakingly created for the plasma telly. Grr. Everything else is mostly back to normal. I need to work out how I can upgrade postgres’s DB format though without reverting to the FC4 version, or quotebot will stay dead. Although I’m a little tempted to just rewrite it as part of the site so the quote IDs tally, so I might do that and consign the last bit of FC that JamesOG worked on to the bin. Ah well... Evening came around and we got pizza and watched some Buffy. Simple things, eh? Today I was up earlyish, still trying to get various bits to work on Novak. Have a mystery with wget/links/etc that stops it being able to resolve things. Which is strange. Went out to buy bits at Spitalfields, phoned mum on the bus and wished her a happy mothers day. Bought a kilo of orgasmic fairly traded beans from the veggie shop, as well as some non dairy margarine (It’s really hard to find in super

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Must stop going to bed at 2am

Friday March 24th, 2006 at 8:57am

aWW...pwetty (clicky)
aWW...pwetty
1].jpg Free bus journey on account of dead Oyster reader : D Got a fair bit (eventually) done at work. Wrote and posted a letter I didn’t want to. Let more of freakcity percolate through my brain - still not sure about how to do groups but it’ll come eventually. No-one wants the ability to rank profiles. Bah! Spose they won’t want the ability to mark shags out of 10 either : ( Worked on trying to style an example callflow (the Sugababes one). Yick : ( 500k of technicolour HTML. Damn programmers ; ) Chatted to a few people after getting home from Somerfield with all of the steak. Watched the silly (Muppets in Space! As Anthony called it ; )) Farscape - The Peacekeeper Wars whilst eating the rarest steak in the world. Honestly, I think I can feel it kicking ; ) Moved menu items on FC and changed prefs from slidy popup to a proper page. Means the theme preview works better : D All the students are running away. Bah! May XXL Saturday, not sure. Why do I keep attracting other people’s boyfriends? I have one in Leeds and three in London. Grr. And they’re all cute too : S Up too late fucking about with Diskkeeper and FC code. The beta is now running the same code as the live site, so I can easily write stuff and put it live. Chatted to Tom briefly. Think he was pissed ; ) My pet Canadian, Jody, was online. Last time I spoke to him was when Dave and I were in the sauna and I got Jody to get his cock out on cam so everyone could see. I so need a cheap way to get him here in the summer ; ) Sent him my new video. Kept him happy hehe. Bed at 2, slept through alarm and woke at 7:45. Woops. Mail from plucker asking for the new forum code. He’s ported it to SQL Server, I want to peer at it and see how fast it is ; ) Probably Retro tonight. Told Owen I’d take him to the sauna too ..if he was up for it. Will see... Meant to be the Veronica Mars weekend but not sure if there’s enough interest. Will see. Need to confirm and book camping soon, hopefully in the next week. Might do something to show cars and passengers in the event. Also, must book time off. Pretty pretty towers on the Isle of Dogs, tops obscured by misty rain. I so need to get a better quality BabyCam. I AM GETTING A FUCKING HAIRCUT TONIGHT Need to shop for stuff for photoshoot on Wednesday too, as I’m being paid for it I’d better make it good : ) Anyone loan me a car and driver so I can buy a big board from Wicks on Saturday? : D I’m currently tempted by Picture (clicky) Should I?

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This is my journal. So ner.

Thursday March 23rd, 2006 at 10:22am

“Terrorist plan to bomb Bluewater” HAHAHA er. That’s nice. Might make the place look better and/or sort out our chav problem ; ) Work was dull. Things broke. Was unable to finish what I wanted to until they fix them and release a new tag. Things are still broke so I’m busy blogging and waiting for someone to fix it all : D Chatted to Owen some too — he’s accepted the new job and given notice on his old one, which is good : ) Told him I’d take him to the sauna tomorrow if he’s up for it. Will see hehe. I’m so gonna turn into a sauna whore at this rate. I mean, I have to go on Tuesday to see if the [(incredibly fit and fucking gorgeous and lovely smiled and shiny)] bloke I was stalking last week is there again... Went to Retro last night after chatting to a lovely guy called Tom who I was planning on meeting there. He’s a singer songwriter — lead guitarist/singer in a band. Seems quite a cool bloke from what I can gather online, I like his writing style and the songs are all punky and quite fun. Going to see him play next month I think...anyways, was chatting away but gaydar cut us off. Left him a message with my number in it and headed to Retro. Sat in a corner and watched people for a change. Had really bad urges for a cigarette but didn’t have one. No clue why, I gave up over a month ago and you’d have thought the urges would have happened then ; ) Put 50p in the “Who wants to spank Chris Tarrant’s face” machine but lost it. Stupid machine. Wandered off to get some dinner, bumped into Adam as he was meeting Alec at Retro — so popped back to see him after food. Noticed I’d been texted half an hour before by Tom telling me he’d been cut off and asking if I was still in Retro, so I texted back but he’d already gone elsewhere. The world conspires to fart in my face again ; ) Chatted with Alex and Adam and Alec (when he arrived)...Smess was there too but knackered and fell asleep out back. Alex took a picture, much to Adam’s amusement. Talked crap a bit, then headed home. Had been considering XXL but thought better of it... Got home and chatted with various people online including Dominik (who really ought to log in and update his feckin pics) and various other people. Bed waaaay too late. Woops. Got to work at 10. Got to write a letter I don’t want to today. Also got to remember to sign my fucking tenancy and get it back to the agency before I end up homeless! Tonight, I fear, I may upgrade Novak. Unless I can get Tom to come on a date or something, hehe. Accidentally joined myspace again so I can stalk people. So add me, bitches. I’m now under 18st for the first time in years too. Whee! I was 19st 4 a month ago...yay for not eating/drinking/having fun/etc.

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cripes

Thursday March 23rd, 2006 at 7:19am

“hi Scott, i would love to have sex with u babes..hugs” Weird shit ; )

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OMFGolol.

Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 at 14:12pm

“every morning i jerk off with you i wish i could have a pair of you well worn socks. smelling them while i jerk off with you would make it a little more like you next to me you biggest fan” [theinternetisweird]

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Spurofthemomentish

Wednesday March 22nd, 2006 at 12:30am

Left work pretty much on time yesterday and decided that dammit, I was going to go to the sauna. So got off the bus at City Thameslink and found the right train and stuff. Got there at just after 7. Gorgeous guy there, but I was too shy to talk to him. Story of my life. Free food, fuck all talent after he left. Bah. Still, had a nice jacuzzi and chilled out, which was nice. Mark was there so said hello too. Left at 9:30ish. Got the bus from there to Monument and then walked to St Pauls to get the 15. Came home feeling all refreshed and stuff. Drawing stick men on the windows of buses is childish. But I don’t care ; ) Had ready meal curry. Couldn’t be bothered to do any Freakcity or Novak so didn’t, just chatted online instead. Bed a bit later than I meant, but hey. Slept ok, but felt tired when I got up. Ended up chatting to a very sexy guy on gaydar about modelling and photography, he’s looking for work and I can’t think of anyone who wants anything other than porn. Bah ; ) Left the flat lateish because of it and so got the DLR/Tube to work as we had a meeting at 10. The meeting explained some restructuring of how we work and was somewhat surreal. Not for what was said, but because as one of the guys was talking about teams, all I could see behind him through the window was a naked woman cleaning her bathroom in nothing but a shower cap. Someone should have told her her frosted windows aren’t that frosted. So I’m being distraced by tits. Surreal. Bored, have lots to do but can’t be arsed. Fucked up my finances again by forgetting about interest payments. Gah! The Bank of Owen has bailed me out until Friday. Hopefully the Bank of TJ will pay me some backrent and I can pay him back before then : ) Might sauna again on Friday, might do some more Freakcity over the weekend, might plan a trip to Manchester, not sure. Drama in the circus. Sorta. Apparently one of the clowns was in a restaurant in Ramallah when 6 hooded men with M16s and Kalashnikovs came in and took one of the diners. Apparently the locals looked after the clown...scary stuff...

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Oddness

Tuesday March 21st, 2006 at 16:32pm

Condoms? Lube? Puncture repair kit? Northerners are strange ;) (clicky)
Condoms? Lube? Puncture repair kit? Northerners are strange ; )
Lots of stuff to do at work. Had Majfoods sandwich for lunch. “Breakfast Sandwich”. Consisted of eggs, tomato, and the tiniest piece of sausage in the corner. Bless...Paid MogsRENT into the bank (it was early!! : D) and then fucked off to buy a jiffy bag as all the ones I bought in Leeds were too small to put the stuff I bought for Dan in them. Wrote Chris an email telling him about Leeds, coz I told him I would ages ago. Not seen/heard from him in a month, he’s not logged in here in exactly a month either. Fuck only knows why — I didn’t even do anything this time. Unsurprisingly, no reply. *sigh* He really makes me feel like kee at times. “He seemed so mature...” etc. Next time I get a boyfriend he’s going to be over 25 at least, dammit. Left work mostly on time, fell asleep muchly on the bus and then got to my stop and did a quick whizz round Somerfield to see what was cheap. Which was half the store, as ever. I love their concept of stock control. Picked up fresh plaice fillets for 58p and took them home to cook with rice and the remains of the chinese rice from the night before. Muchos yummeh. Watched House of Flying Daggers, which was incredibly fucking weird. And really quite silly. I’d got it because it’d been recommended on account of the cinematography, but I found it shallow, too many cuts to hide the pauses in action, too much direction-by-numbers. Some of the scenery was beautiful, but many of the fight scenes were marred with obvious impossibilities and appalling CGI. Overall, a bit crap really. Lloyd may spank me for typing this... Fixed a few freakcity bugs with the help of Jay who joined yesterday and noticed he couldn’t upload pics or add links. Woops. Bed lateish and then up on time. Went to work, nipped out at lunch after printing a letter for Dan and cramming it all in the Jiffy bag. No way in hell he could read my writing ; ) He got 3 years, but still hasn’t told me what for. Will try and see him this month if I can work out how the fuck to get there. Ate salad. Weighed myself this morning, I’ve lost 9lb since I last weighed myself a couple of weeks ago. So it seems going to Leeds and eating mostly junk food is actually good for me, and not unhealthy at all ; ) Gonna have a ready meal tonight and try and stay awake a little longer. There’s things I should do to FC but haven’t yet and as I have no money to do anything fun (ie sauna) I may as well...ho hum...

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Back to school!

Monday March 20th, 2006 at 8:39am

""And no falling off the balcony either... (clicky)
Didn’t do that much yesterday — Matt and Del said their goodbyes at noonish as they were both working. Staying up until 5am making video work on libby was, in retrospect, probably a bad idea. Went to the White Rose centre with Dave to buy lightbulbs and bits for their tea. Had a KFC. Had an argument with the stupid woman on the till about whether or not I’d said two or three pieces. Dave got free gravy. You don’t see *that* in London. Not sure which part of the chicken my two pieces came from. Wasn’t gonna ask. Just ate my rubber chips instead. : S Wandered about a bit avoiding the temptation of HMV. Bought a brownie at Millie’s Cookies. Fatcunted it and felt overfull. Bleh! Headed home and watched Eddie Izzard’s “Sexie” DVD. Funny. Went on about having breast envy but penis ambivolence, even penis noncholance. Made me smirk. And the bit about having breast implants but that they were on the outside and therefore hadn’t been planted so they were just “ims”. Went to the station after somehow managing to get everything in my bag again (how does it happen? Bag filled up fine on the way out!). Grabbed a mars bar and some water and jumped on the train. We were late leaving (apparently to do with a fatality) but made the time up. Spoke to mum on the train, farted about online. Dozed. Got into Kings X at about 22:40, home at 23:30. The Dark Crystal was waiting for me. Put all my washing on and watched the film whilst it washed. Had chinese delivered as there was no food left in the flat. Bed at 2am. Urgh!

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Final Day

Sunday March 19th, 2006 at 14:11pm

Pretty but very very very fucking cold. (clicky)
Pretty but very very very fucking cold.
Went out driving with Dave - up to Castle Hill in Huddersfield to take photos. But after 5 minutes we gave up as it was so fucking windy that neither of us could feel our faces. Very pretty though, and an amazing view...Zoomed off to find snowy hills — through Holmfirth (where they shoot Last of the Summer Wine) and almost to Manchester. Ms Coates has been told he can play the organ at Notre Dame - The bastard ; ) Sam has made it to Israel, was in Tel Aviv in a hostel, travelling up to Haifa today and will be in the West Bank tomorrow. Apparently things have calmed down enough (so our spies on the ground tell us) for the circus to reenter. Hope everything goes well : S Drove back in the dark, taking a photo of the “Golden Cock” en route. It so needs to be a gay bar. On the way back got a text from Del telling me how hungover he was. So went and stopped in Dewsbury and visited him. We were both rather shocked by Dave coming in as well, although possibly not as shocked as he was. Entertaining. He managed ok : ) We jacuzzi’d and buggered around online and drank far too much coffee. There was almost some talent in there too, but one of the guys was just the bf of another guy who worked there and the other was following a munter around...so no fun for me. Well, cept splashing in the jacuzzi that is. Left at about 10:30 after chatting to a lovely bloke online from Derby. Bit of a geek. Yay! Got back and dumped all the pics I’d taken onto flickr. Shitloads of them. I posssibly should have auto balanced them first as many are very very dark. Woops. Decided upon takeaway - they all had curry and I had a piece of chicken (bleeding) and some very very lardy kebab meat. Clever Scott ; ) Bed lateish (3) and then fucking about with video on Libby (it now plays video!) until about 5ish. Woops. so today I shall mostly be being tired ; ) Going out in a bit to buy a lightbulb. And possibly some lunch. Train at 8:15pm, then back home to my own bed. Which Dave’ll be happy about as I’ve nicked his up here...

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Madchester

Saturday March 18th, 2006 at 15:03pm

Via Fossa in Blur-o-vision (clicky)
Via Fossa in Blur-o-vision
OH MY GOD! Dr Kildare is gay! Chatted online to find out where’d be fun to go in Manc. Mostly chatted to a bloke called Anthony who seems really nice and friendly. He recommended the Falcon and a place behind the Rembrant called Company bar. Finished chatting, and by this time Del had woken up and so we set off to get Del and Matt’s hair cut. I thought about it but wasn’t gonna pay £10 for a shaved head. Slight issue with a traffic warden (well, if he will just park outside on double yellows...) meant we had to dash to a carpark... After hair we wandered back to the car and then went in search of hair people for me. Drove to Morley and arrived just in time for everyone to be shutting. Undeterred we simply went to Morrisons for much shopping goodness. Bought food for that evening (Pork, veg, potatoes). Del hadn’t eaten so bought some chicken bite things which we munched all the way around the store and then after finishing them promptly forgot to pay for. Woops. Del then decided to buy some ribs and potatoes, his logic being that he’d fall asleep if he ate then went straight out, so he wanted to eat earlier. Got back in and put the pork and potatoes on. Chatted online for a bit to random peeps, Del and Matt’s mate Lee (who is so fucking sexy) turned up to come out with us. Ate food, got ready. Dave decided that as he was skint he might as well drive as it was going to be £15 each on the train. £75 for the 5 of us. Boggle. Arrived at about 10ish, had a drama finding a carpark that wasn’t a ripoff and then raced up the NCP. I had my coat, they all didn’t, it was 3°C so they all froze and I didn’t. Fucking St Patrick’s Day meant straight people everywhere wearing stupid Guinness hats. Which coincidentally looked somewhat like Boy George hats. Someone should have told them... Had a couple of drinks in Via Fossa, then headed off to the Rembrant (Hey Lee, what’s it like being the youngest person in the bar?) for a drink. Scary stuff. Was quiet, but the cute boy didn’t pay me any attention so I stuck to my coke. £1.50 for a can. It’s like the Swan all over again ; ) Headed afterwards to Company bar — tho Del had to confirm with the barman that it existed because my word wasn’t good enough ; ) Small teeny tiny bar in a basement. Restraints on a cross of wood. Strange hooks dangling from the ceiling. Decorated like a darkroom, loads of army style camouflage netting on the ceiling. Drunk homosexuals. Tried to take photos but it was way too dark... Found Steve in a dark corner, possibly the most surreal thing to happen to me for the entire trip...said hello. He said hello, asked me what I was doing there. Told him...he was meeting a bloke and very drunken. Bless... Hid in a corner. Sat on a barstool. Lee sat on my knee. Bless x2. Got to watch a very drunk homosexualist open the inward swinging door to the toilet straight into his face. Silly gay. We left there, my justification being that any bar where David Bellamy wouldn’t look out of place is probably not the bar for us. Headed to the Falcon bar. Surreal place. Has tiny TV monitors on the bar pumps, just like the Black horse does, but plays softcore porn on them. Two doors at the back of the room, “Toilets” and “Men Only”. Pool table. Dark...had a couple of drinks. Smirked at some really really young chicken wearing a “GAP” shirt...was tempted to go up to him and say “Awwwh...Baby Gap...” Decided that it’d be amusing to go in the “Men Only” door. Discovered more toilets, then a door at the back with a queue of men going in to a very dark room. Got bored at that point and couldn’t be bothered to join the queue of munters, so ran away. Went to Legends, although it wasn’t Legends last night, it was a private mixed club called "Homoelect

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Bloooog

Friday March 17th, 2006 at 14:15pm

pretty pretty armoury tower (clicky)
pretty pretty armoury tower
Went out to Sheffield for food yesterday, though the general consensus was that we shouldn’t have bothered as it was a bit vile. My rare steak turned up medium, barely any pink at all. Wah! Tried to get in contact with Jon as I think he’s in Sheffield again but failed. Wandered around shops. Noticed a big bug in Freakcity. Oops. Came back and chatted online. Accidentally found sunin’s bottom on slave4master. Decided to go out. The original plan was to go to the Bridge for karaoke, (Well, Dave’s original plan was to go to Subway for a sandwich, but we soon put paid to that ; )) but we got dragged into the New Penny by Del. The stripper was rubbish. We went into the curtained off back bar to find porn being beamed onto a wall and lots of people looking dodgy. Was great fun. 4ft penises get my vote any day ; ) The toilet had apparently had the lights turned off so it was a darkroom, but I didn’t dare venture in. We stuck about for half an hour or so and then went back home via subway. Up earlyish today to try and fix freakcity, which I did. I’d not realised but one of my dodgy sql joins had stopped profiles working for anyone without a pic. Woops! Off to Manchester tonight for drinks and fun. Will let you all know tomorrow how it goes : D

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Windy in Essex

Thursday March 16th, 2006 at 21:32pm

My photography kit at Chafford Hundred station (clicky)
My photography kit at Chafford Hundred station
Having acquired my photography stuff — spent the afternoon working hard with Dom trees and fun like that. Found a couple of bugs in FC and fixed all but one too. Unfortunately I didn’t get out of work until 7:30 scuppering my chances of finding a DIY shop open to get a stepladder. Wah! So came back via Limehouse in the hope the lil garden place was open and might sell them. Which it wasn’t and probably doesn’t. Wahx2! Brainwave. As far as I remembered (and TJ confirmed), Lakeside is open until 10 so I scooted down here to see what I could find. And I found Argos : D Bought a stepladder and stopped in a DVD shop just long enough to make sure I missed my train. So I’m sat on a bench in the wind, watching silhouetted cars go past, black against the twinkling yellow lights of Thurrock. 16 minutes of cold left until my train takes me home. I feel so much freer than I did. Like a great tiredness has been lifted from me. I hope it lasts, I really do. I just feel capable of so much at the moment. I just don’t have time. Come summer I hope to be doing the cycle thing again — and I hope to do the Glastonbury thing again too, see what I can see with my eyes fully open. Going to assemble my “studio” when I get in and do some shots of TJ to see how they come out. Hope they let me on the DLR with the ladder. Heh! So my roadmap. Work Java certification, more learning and more experience Home Careful building of inside and out. More alternative choices, less time in bars. Music Finish my album, possibly with João’s help (well, he offered, and he’s moving here soon) Freakcity Build a java session framework that’s lightweight and uses little memory. Personal Not fall off the wagon. Be more confident in myself and what I can do. Be less shy. Find new people who “get” me. Maybe meet someone and start to build something, although that’s not a high priority after last time. Explore things ; ) I spoke to James today. He’s back in the states and loving it. Off to Disneyworld soon, the big kid. Back mid April, I made him promise to come see me and hug me. I need to get away from Britain again. I’d love to go back to Amsterdam. £50 return plus €8 a night camping. Anyone? Or I’m just gonna take João up on visiting him in the summer : ) So. Home, pancakes and photos. I am going to teach Teej to pancake : D Well, if you can make them with rice milk, that is. They don’t work so well with soya milk ; )

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The north is indeed grim

Wednesday March 15th, 2006 at 17:51pm

Schindler’s Lift (clicky)
Schindler’s Lift
Left work at about 7ish, unfortunately for me the bus was fairly speedy and I arrived at Kings cross at about 7:30. Dave was arriving at 8 so I wandered about aimlessly for a bit and munched a sausage roll. My bag was fucking heavy though. Gah! Acquired Dave and then headed off to the first class lounge for free coffee and biscuits. And apparently free wifi, although it failed miserably. Got quickly bored, so went and found our train via M&S for Dave to get a sarnie. First class is very exciting. No really. Showed Dave how to make the wifi work, much to his possible annoyance ; ) and then sulked as the connection dropped whenever we were in a tunnel. I shall write a stiff letter ; ) Chatted (slowly) to everyone for most of the duration of the journey. Decided to try and install RealPlayer on Libby to see if she’d bingle when I got messages. So attempted to download said player to discover that the net connection was letting me download at about 9k a second. we now suspect that GNER runs its wifi enabled service over GPRS and that somewhere there’s a Nokia 6210 plugged into a serial port powering the lot. I pointed out my phone can manage 384kbps which is a little better. Nice man served us coffee. And then some more coffee. And then, yes, a little more. The last time, Dave refused and I capitulated and the nice man was all like “are you sure” “Oh go on then” says Dave “Isn’t peer pressure great?” The north got darker and colder and rainier. Libby bingled. I was joyous. as we sped towards our destination, the nice first class hostesses whizzed about making all our rubbish disappear and setting our table up cleanly. I ruined it all by bleeding on a doily. I was tsked at. I felt bad : ( Arrived in Leeds, offloaded everything and went to find Del. Discovered something offering “Hats of the Ocean” in a petrol station. Took a photo as it seemed somewhat bizarre. Arrived at the house at about 11:30, met their housemate Steve and settled in for the night. Bed at about 2am after fiddling lots with Del’s computer to try and make it a little bit faster - which I think was mostly successful ; ) Woke early but managed to go back to sleep. Out of bed at about 10:30 and off out into Morley to grab something for Del’s mum (Nina) from the post office and some other bits and pieces. Got envelopes and paper and stamps for Dan, just have to send them all now. Headed off to Currys to get Nina a tumble dryer. Got her the same mini one that Owen and I had when we first moved to London. Amazed they still make them. The bloke who wheeled it out to the car for us was amazingly fit. Blonde, blue eyed, muscled and tattooed and a bit stubbly. Del asked him if he could come with us and fit it too. He giggled shyly. Blessim. Wandered off to Ikea to have a poke around and eat meatballs. Got a large plate of them (20!) and then realised I couldn’t manage them all. Stuffed them all down eventually, and a cheesecake, then headed back to the car to play delivery boy. went and grabbed Nina’s keys from her at work under the false pretence that we were simply dropping the parcel off at her flat. She asked Del when she was going to be getting a tumble dryer and moaned lots about the ironing she was spending all her time doing at the moment. Little did she know that she was getting a tumble dryer installed and would find it in her flat that evening. Arrived at her place, got the lift upstairs. Was amused to find that it was made by a company called “Schindler”. Her flat’s quite small but very nice. Had a nose around as we unwrapped the tumble dryer and set it all up. Left her place and wandered about her complex for a bit, then decided to head off. Dropped the keys back and headed to the Armoury to see what was what. Wandered about taking pics lots. (see my flic

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Crap.

Tuesday March 14th, 2006 at 14:01pm

Sam is meant to be flying out to the Occupied Territories on Friday. And now this happens — no clue what he should do. He doesn’t know either. Does he go and hope that (as in Iraq when the kidnappings started) the fact they’re all clowns spares them from the bad people? Or does he hang on here? I doubt he’ll get a refund on his air ticket but he might do. Thing is, Peat and some others are already out there anyway. This could all go very badly for the clowns : S The world is a shit.

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Ramble

Tuesday March 14th, 2006 at 10:12am

Cry me a river... (clicky)
Cry me a river...
(Medium).JPG So tired. Bleh! Launching FreakCity at 5:30am was possibly a bad idea. Lots done at work with the new sce look and feel, but felt soo shitty I didn’t think I’d get through the day. Popped out for lunch and discovered there’s a burst water main over the road. And a river of water flowing towards Liecester Square. Most amusing...all coming from an ickle side alley that had turned rather successfully into a stream. Ate gay salad. Almost cancelled Dave because of feeling shite and knackered but didn’t in the end. Left work at about 6:30 and headed to BarCode to meet Danny, John, Dave, Wil and MrsWil. Who were of course all shockingly late. David was there, being drunk as ever. Only stayed for a bit as I was soo tired. Stopped at Virgin on the way back and bought 4 DVDs for £20 - Gosford Park, Beetlejuice, House of Flying Daggers and Team America: World Police. Headed home on the bus - almost missing my stop as I’d fallen asleep. D’oh. Got back and checked my gaydar to discover the guy I’d been chatting to in Leeds was being odd. I’d sent him a message to ask if he’d got my text and he said “no” and asked me what I was up to for the weekend. I replied, confirming his number and telling him I was coming to Leeds and then probably doing Manchester at the weekend. I got *five* “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’re compatible” replies and he blocked me. Very fucking odd. Decided to give up on men and watched Beetlejuice instead, whilst doing my washing — My original plan had been to do the pics bit of Freakcity but I had no energy at all. Feh! TJ then decided to watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen so I went to bed. Slept a bit better. Up at 6:45 making pic uploads work. Yay! First class train awaits at 20:30. Off work until next week! Have camera and Libby so will be blogging on the move. Damn this bag’s heavy : D “It’s time you enjoyed yourself, especially before you embark on the next round of work projects and social responsibilities...” according to my stars. How exciting! (Or randomly made up, depending on your perspective).

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Unlucky 13?

Monday March 13th, 2006 at 8:55am

New skyscraper at Bank? Wonder what that is then... (clicky)
New skyscraper at Bank? Wonder what that is then...
(Small).JPG Yesterday I ogged more CDs. And I woke up with a huge rash all over me. Which was lovely. I think that I managed to “eat” some nylon (I’m allergic, and it’s what case fans tend to be made of, so the dust around them tends to be nylon powder). Icky. Chatted to mum on the phone some, told her about the nylon, she was faintly amused. Apparently they’d decided to strip and paper the spare room this weekend, but as they removed the old paper all the plaster was coming off too - so they got on the phone for a plasterer and sulked. When mogs woke up we shopped for bits and then went to Wings Buffet for some yummy chinese. Wandered back and did some Freakcity as well as watching Underworld: Evolution - much better than the first. Watched some Shameless - was surprised by James McAvoy being in it. Bed at 11 but couldn’t sleep at all. Bah! Eventually dropped off...after a few hours. Woke up at 5am and couldn’t get back to sleep so launched v2 instead. Heh ; ) Expecting lots of bugs and moaning when I get to work...

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It’s live!

Monday March 13th, 2006 at 8:10am

The view from the top of my flats... (clicky)
The view from the top of my flats...
(Medium).JPG But will it all fall over horribly? ; )

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Hm.

Saturday March 11th, 2006 at 10:34am

Three of Me (clicky)
Three of Me
(Medium).jpg Still very very tired, although I did stay up until 4:30am. Oops! Left work on time. Went to Retro. Drank OJ and entertained Danny/Richard and eventually Lloyd and some others a bit. Then headed off by bus to meet Deev at Kings Cross. Stood at the bus stop waiting for a 91 for a little while, when a strange couple of people turned up. A man, late 40s I’d say, and his very elderly mother in a wheelchair. He wheeled her over at speed and then said “We’re waiting for the 91 Mother. No I’m not going to speak to you” and then walked off, leaving her on her own in her wheelchair by the bus stop. Very strange. He wandered around the other bus stop, waiting for the bus, as soon as he saw it he raced back and pushed her onto the bus. I got on too, sat by the door downstairs and watched as he installed his Mother in one of the seats at the front and then put the wheelchair, still unfolded, into the wheelchair section, covering the seat with newspapers. Then, as we pulled off, he went and sat right at the back of the bus, as far away from his mother as he could get without getting off or going upstairs - and started singing Weird fucking weirdness. We’re driving down The Strand and he’s singing a showtune about “going down The Strand”. This carried on, interspersed with him shouting “be quiet Mother” at random intervals, even though I was closer to her than he was and couldn’t hear anything. At one set of lights his mother decided to sit in her wheelchair instead of the bus seat. He complained, saying “you’ll be knocked over when the bus moves” and generally whined but didn’t get out of his seat to help or anything. After about 20 minutes he appeared to get bored of simply singing and decided to become a bizarre kind of tour guide - pointing out famous buildings on the way up to Kings Cross. People on the bus were either irritated or bemused. It was very very strange...at one stop, he was singing his heart out and his mother was pointing at him and talking to someone through the glass of the bus window, pride in her eyes. We passed a new A&E department, apparently state of the art, he recommended it highly. Somebody sat opposite him commented that he might need it soon (!!) and then asked him where he was getting off. He said “Kings Cross” and the other guy replied with “Good”. Eventually getting to Kings Cross, arrived just in time for Deev to be 10 minutes early on the train. Woo! Said hello, grabbed new 300gig HD for Novak and then said goodbye and headed home on buses. Which is entertaining ; ) Copied (roughly) the partition table from the old hd to the new one, adding a new partition for /download. All partitions are now the same size or slightly larger...removed two drives, booted from CD and then dd if = /dev/hdax of = /dev/hdcx lots for a few hours to copy all the data off the old drive (which was 120gig not 80gig as I’d thought) onto the new one. Sorted out boot partitions and then put it all back together (5 hours later. Damn it’s slow copying from a broken unDMAable disk) and it worked. So now we wait until FC5 and then finish upgrading and making it all shiny. Have lots more spare space now though, for downloads, which is very very nice. Bed at 4:30am. Up again at 8:30am as I couldn’t sleep. Gah! Played about with some bits online. Decided to run my laptop (with the broken screen) as a headless rdesktop server so I can leave stuff running on it and shut this one down at night as it’s huge and eats power. So upgraded lots of laptop. Trying to get Beta2 of IE7 to install but it’s not behaving. So might just leave it as IE6. Going to start work in a moment on the last bits of the beta. Hoping to have them all finished today so I can move it across later and then watch what happens user/errorwise tomorrow. Got bored and played with photography/photoshop a bit to mak

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Rain

Friday March 10th, 2006 at 15:03pm

Rain falls. Rain washes the pain away. Rain anaethesizes against the coldness of the world, softening everything under its relentless gaze (clicky)
Rain falls. Rain washes the pain away. Rain anaethesizes against the coldness of the world, softening everything under its relentless gaze
Trippy day...flopped about at work doing whatever was asked of me at the time by the most urgent looking person. My teeth seem to have shut the fuck up a bit so I was only partially zonked on painkillers for a change. Tesco salad for lunch and far too much thoop for my own good. Communications meeting in the afternoon outlining how well the company was doing and the fun things in store for us if we manage to get the client we’re after. It’s a big client...I think we’re all going to be working down t’ pit 50 hours a day if we get the contract. Everything today is shiny and wet. Everything yesterday was too. It gives the world a new smell. Like it’s all been reborn. We need more rain though if we’re going to manage the summer ok. Grey skies and a grey mood. Not down, but not up. Just somewhere in between. Mostly it’s where I like to be, there’s less chance of disappointment that way. Bumped into salheilagur as I was coming back from Tesco in the rain. He started waving at me and said hello, I told him I didn’t recognise him and he explained who he was. He works just down the road from me. We chat about photography and stuff from time to time online but up until then hadn’t met before. He said he’d had a strange feeling he was going to meet someone and that he found it all surprising. It was quite cool, but I was way too shy and crap as ever so mostly burbled a bit and ran away. I really need to get over this shyness. I used to wear it like a glove but it no longer fits. I’m not shy with the people I know, why should I give a shit about the people I don’t know? Applying the new design to the bits of work I’m doing. It all looks lovely ; ) Tonight I’m meeting Deev to grab the shiny new 300gb HD off him for Novak, then I’m going to dismantle the internet, reinstall bits and pray that the poor little thing is a bit more roadworthy than she has been of late. Fortunately for me, linux is lovely. I copy the old drive onto the new drive and it Just Works™ This weekend will be spent tidying and gearing up for FC v2 launch. I’ve done about 50% of the new dick and that’s the only remaining bit I need to finish before I can launch v2. After launch I’ll be changing other bits slowly, bit by bit, as the way I’ve written it makes it easier to do things like that. And then on to the heady heights of v3 - Java, MySQL, Tomcat, Apache, all running on our own server. It’ll be lovely. No more random outages that are the fault of the service provider, no, now it’ll all be MY fault when it goes wrong! Muahaha! I have a feeling something will happen soon. Something different and lovely. I shall await with some trepidation. Now...what to do in London until 9:30pm?

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fuckwits

Thursday March 9th, 2006 at 9:56am

"Hi Scott van Looy, This message is to notify you that ICUII registration you purchased in april 2002 will expire on march 16, 2006. If you’d like to continue using ICUII, we’ve set up a special discount for renewing users. If you purchase soon, you’ll get 20% off the normal price and a free second registration code. That’s a savings of $59.95! The free code is good for one year, and you can use it on a second computer or share it with a friend. To receive this discount, click on one of the options below." *sigh* So much for free upgrades for life...

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Late again.

Thursday March 9th, 2006 at 8:49am

Someone left me a copy of the Times on the bus to snigger at. I managed 2 paragraphs of “Being a frequent flyer doesn’t make me a carbon criminal” before sniggering too much and having to put it down. Apparently he’s not a carbon criminal because other people make *more* carbon emissions than him. Oh yes. “No Mr Judge, I’m not a thief - he stole way more than I did...” Where do these journalists learn debating skills? Yesterday crept along horribly slowly - bits of work chugging along at a snail’s pace. Salad for lunch - although M&S salad seems to be horrifically overpriced so next time I’ll stick to Tesco. Quietish afternoon - IRC being a welcome distraction as I restarted Tomcat over and over...Deev’s (and my) tickets arrived : D Left work pretty much on time - got to Retro before anyone else - Teleute: “Kronenbourg?” “no”, I replied, “I’ve given up drinking, I’ll have an orange juice” “but there’s no alcohol in an orange juice?” “I know” Smess chimes in with “Have an orange juice *and* a kronenbourg?”. Silly moo. Sat down all alone on the reserved end table. Danny arrived soon enough - chatted a bit about work. Lloyd turned up, then moogal and mickstar, Adam, Justin, Justin’s friend (not sure if he was an euphamism or just a friend ; )). Chatted some. Phoned TJ as I was a little worried about him - he’d set off for Retro at 4:30 on his cycle and still hadn’t turned up by 7:30 - but all was OK - he was in The Village being bought drinks by Alex. He staggered in as I was leaving (8ish). Lloyd walked me to the bus stop and I had a bit of a chat to him. Trundled home to cook chicken. Figured I could probably finish Inside Out in the hour it took to cook. Kept falling asleep on the bus though on the way home. Had no idea I was so tired. Finished Inside Out (good book), ate chicken and was in bed by 10. Sorta slept ok but the gays all returned and kept waking me up. They were still all up and awake and watching Little Britain when I got up for work. Mogs, Alan and Mike had acquired bump and bittersweet. Told mogs off for cycling when drunk and for smoking. ScottMUM : D Left them rolling round the floor and headed to work... Still feeling stronger every day but still so very tired. Bah!

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The wheels on the bus....

Wednesday March 8th, 2006 at 8:42am

Very tired. Completed the antibiotics yesterday. Bleh! Work was dull, frustrating too. Got blamed for something that wasn’t my fault but threw it back to them with an explanation of exactly what was wrong (css being served as text/plain). Was going to sauna after work but couldn’t remember which stop was City Thameslink as it was shitting it down and visibility was zero from the bus. (It’s *before* St Pauls). Walked about in the rain. Got the DLR. Got cold. Had a coughing fit and nearly threw up - took me about half an hour to recover at home : ( Babylon 5 scripts book 4 had arrived - there was a really poignant paragraph about Richard Biggs’ funeral - made me sad. Dinner hadn’t defrosted by the time I got home either. Grr. Spent sauna money on chinese. Stayed up too late watching Severed Dreams ana then reading about the writing/recording of the Wall and the subsequent breakdown in communication in the band in “Inside Out”. Slept sorta ok. Still feel tired. Owen has tonsilitis : ( moogal and mickstar are Retroing tonight. Am going to attempt to be there for a bit too - long as my cough doesn’t go horrible on me. We shall see. Leeds next week. Yay. I was apparently meant to tell Chris how awful it is to make him feel better about not getting into the uni there, but he appears to not be speaking to me again for no reason. C’est la vie... Still trying to work out if I’ll do Rentaghost on Sunday or not ; ) Today is national no smoking day. Hah! I wish someone’d make upstairs at Retro entirely no smoking...

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rumble

Tuesday March 7th, 2006 at 8:13am

Breakfast (clicky)
Breakfast
Slowly starting to feel better. Tried a little experiment on the bus home that made me feel stronger, which was good. My cough has come back worse than before though which is bad. Last day of antibiotics. Took a night nurse before bed and slept pretty much all the way through. Cooked real food last night. Spaghetti bolognaise of some description made from leftovers. Tasted nice though. Watched new Battlestar as well. Work was hard work. So much to do. Finished the stuff to do with my MVC framework that had come out of the peer review. At 7:30. Urgh. Spent much of the day feeling really faint and floaty and like I was about to pass out, which is not so good. Hopefully I’ll be a bit better today. Managed to eat a packet of crisps! Haven’t been able to stomach the idea for about 3 weeks. Still no fags or booze. Told David who I work with that I’d not smoked or drunk anything in over two weeks and so I must start feeling better soon. He suggested it’d be after my first beer. Cheeky git. Outside makes me cough. So I’m going outside now to cough lots. And lots.

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Week 3...

Monday March 6th, 2006 at 7:46am

Urg. Still feel sooo tired. No idea what to do. There’s still something wrong with my throat too, but I have no idea what. And I’m guessing blood shouldn’t come out of my nose in the way it just did. Bah : ’( I’m going to pick up some stuff from Boots that’ll hopefully give me a bit of energy and then concentrate on being psychically well in the hope my body gets the hint and fucking sorts itself out. As for my teeth, feels like there’s a vice in my head. It’s really really lovely! Friday I ended up escaping from work as soon as I could (I was feeling unbeliveably crap) - I’ll probably get shit for it today as I’d not finished my stuff but there was no way I was able to concentrate on anything. Went straight home via Wings’ Buffet for some takeout. Fed mogs some of the takeout and he told me he’d never eaten there so I’ll have to take him sometime as he was very impressed with the food. Serenity, The Abyss and Creep had arrived on DVD - I’m not drinking and smoking so have available cash to buy silly things instead. Far more fun ; ) Watched The Abyss. It was the special version that I don’t think I’d seen all of as it had bits in it that I don’t remember at all. Was cool, but not 16:9, just 4:3 letterbox which was a shame. Zoomed it was about VHS quality. Grr. Bed. Slept badly (unshocker). Decided to go to Tottenham Court Road on Saturday and see about a cheap HD for Novak so she can stop being so damn flaky. Managed to find a 250gig for £75 but I think I can do better online so I didn’t buy it. Accidentally bought the Jurassic Park ultimate edition DVD from CEX instead though for 12 quid. 0: -) Limped home, via Woolies to buy a new teapot (as my old one has a hairline crack) and a hob light, then Somerfields to buy cheap crappy food reduced for quick sale. Watched lots of Jurassic Park, as well as the making of. Got chinese takeout (I’d budgeted 20 quid for the weekend’s entertainment, so thought fuck it may as well waste a tenner ; )) Headed to bed but again slept badly - tho this was partly to do with mogs staying up late and being a bit noisy. Grr ; ) Woke at about 5:30am, sat online for a bit. Surprised Lloyd by being awake. Went back to bed again. Got up at about 1ish and found mogs watching something I’d downloaded - Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning - an amusing bit of fanfic completely created without much of a budget and stuff. It’s basically a pisstake - Star Trek versus Babylon 5, but with CGI that’d do either proud. Very impressive in a sick in the head kinda way... I recycled the left over chinese into lunch. Tidied a bit, did some washing, tidied my room some and then retired to bed with JMS’s B5 scripts volume 3 and then Inside Out - Mum’s birthday prezzie to me (a signed copy too!). Decided not to do anything cept lay in bed, doze, read, doze and that was about it. So I feel almost alive now but still tired.

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...and more about me...

Thursday March 2nd, 2006 at 13:55pm

My wisdom teeth are causing part of the problem. Still don’t know what’s up with my throat but have the address/phone number of a doctor’s surgery near me so hopefully I can register for a doctor and sort that out. It got worse yesterday evening - trouble breathing normally without feeling like I need to be sick : S It’s still not as right as it was yesterday. Was mostly ok when I was indoors and sat down. Watched some Carnivàle with mogs - he’d not paid attention the first time around and I think sorta liked it ok. If there’s fit men in it and spaceships go bang he’s happy as larry. If there’s not then he just ain’t interested ; ) Picking up drugs tomorrow. PLEASE work. I can’t be doing with another weekend feeling shit : ’(

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A message crushed again.

Thursday March 2nd, 2006 at 13:07pm

Original Article,1,2229722.story?coll=la-news-comment&ctrack=1&cset=true A message crushed again Three years after American activist Rachel Corrie died under an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza, her words are being censored for political reasons. By Katharine Viner March 1, 2006 THE FLIGHTS for cast and crew had been booked; the production schedule delivered; there were tickets advertised on the Internet. The Royal Court Theatre production of “My Name Is Rachel Corrie,” the play I co-edited with Alan Rickman, was transferring later this month to the New York Theatre Workshop, home of the musical “Rent,” following two sold-out runs in London and several awards. We always felt passionately that it was a piece of work that needed to be seen in the United States. Created from the journals and e-mails of American activist Rachel Corrie, telling of her journey from her adolescence in Olympia, Wash., to her death under an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza at the age of 23, we considered it a unique American story that would have a particular relevance for audiences in Rachel’s home country. After all, she had made her journey to the Middle East in order “to meet the people who are on the receiving end of our [American] tax dollars,” and she was killed by a U.S.-made bulldozer while protesting the demolition of Palestinian homes. But last week the New York Theatre Workshop canceled the production — or, in its words, “postponed it indefinitely.” The political climate, we were told, had changed dramatically since the play was booked. As James Nicola, the theater’s ’s artistic director, said Monday, “Listening in our communities in New York, what we heard was that after Ariel Sharon’s illness and the election of Hamas in the recent Palestinian elections, we had a very edgy situation.” Three years after being silenced for good, Rachel was to be censored for political reasons. I’d heard from American friends that life for dissenters had been getting worse — wiretapping scandals, arrests for wearing antiwar T-shirts, Muslim professors denied visas. But it’s hard to tell from afar how bad things really are. Here was personal proof that the political climate is continuing to shift disturbingly, narrowing the scope of free debate and artistic expression, in only a matter of weeks. By its own admission the theater’s management had caved in to political pressure. Rickman, who also directed the show in London, called it “censorship born out of fear, and the New York Theatre Workshop, the Royal Court, New York audiences — all of us are the losers.” It makes you wonder. Rachel was a young, middle-class, scrupulously fair-minded American woman, writing about ex-boyfriends, troublesome parents and a journey of political and personal discovery that took her to Gaza. She worked with Palestinians and protested alongside them when she felt their rights were denied. But the play is not agitprop; it’s a complicated look at a woman who was neither a saint nor a traitor, both serious and funny, messy and talented and human. Or, in her own words, “scattered and deviant and too loud.” If a voice like this cannot be heard on a New York stage, what hope is there for anyone else? The non-American, the nonwhite, the oppressed, the truly other? Rachel’s words from Gaza are a bridge between these two worlds — and now that bridge is being severed. After the Hamas victory, the need for understanding is surely greater than ever, and I refuse to believe that most Americans want to live in isolation. One night in London, an Israeli couple, members of the right-wing Likud party on holiday in Britain, came up after the show, impressed. “The play wasn’t against Israel; it was against violence,” they told Cindy Corrie, Rachel’s mother. I was particularly touched by a young Jewish New Yorker from an Orthodox family who said he had been nervous about coming to see “My Name Is Rachel Corrie” becaus

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Something went right for a change...

Wednesday March 1st, 2006 at 19:23pm

...and I got an emergency dental appointment for tomorrow morning. Although now I feel sick - and I’m not sure if it’s “not eaten” sick or “eat something and vomit, I dare you” sick. Bah : ’(

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Today...today today today...

Wednesday March 1st, 2006 at 13:06pm

I’m sorta feeling a little better. I still need about a week’s sleep though and I think it’s linked to the fact I’ve been out in the sun but yeah, I feel a bit better. Bout fucking time too! Veronica this weekend with a bunch of freaks. Breakfast on Pluto tomorrow at the PCC, should be good. Left the flat at 7:15 this morning to get to the hospital for 8 to find out that the emergency dentist service they used to have there has been stopped. Wandered through to commercial road and got the 15 to work. So I was in the office at 9. *faint*. Which means I’m bored already... Being moved around projects again. Grr. Everything’s so up in the air again it’s silly. Only feel like eating a certain few types of food. It’s very odd. My throat still feels weird. I need a doctor and some tests I think. It’s not felt right since the time I threw up blood last year. Hope I haven’t got something bad wrong with it. Maybe I’ll turn into a hypochondriac for a laugh. Watched the first couple of Season 2 Numb3rs last night. Was ok I guess, seems a little more drawn out than season 1. Was surprised Ridley and Tony Scott are behind it as it’s not brilliant, just pretty good. Weird old world... Bed at 9. Slept badly. Can’t win.

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