Do gaydar keep every single photo ever uploaded? Damn they must have some storage... Have to go to Ilford in a bit with a PC for Owen. Bleh. And I’m hungover. Did Retro then Swan last night, even though I said I wasn’t going to. Bumped into some old friends too, also managed to drag David (and random chub - does he ever change? ) along. We’re doing beer on Monday at Barcode. Got some big hugs from him, he agreed with me about silly things which was nice too. I think he’s doing ok, which is cool. He’s about to try out for another job but having fun in his current one. Quote of the evening from him “What? Is the world suddenly going backwards?”. Made me laugh. As did us trying to help him with his telemarketing voice Went to the Swan with Danny (who was in an evil mood...much fun ) and bumped into Mike there, as well as some other people whose names I forget. I think I told him to join here though. I’m shameless Home on my own as James was tired and wanted his own bed. Tried to buy fast food but everywhere was shut, so put veggie grills on. And promptly fell asleep. Woops. The Good Fairy must have woken up and taken them out from under the grill though before I set fire to myself or anyone else. Which would have been no great loss but hey. This morning I am in a bad mood. I am strongly disliking myself for having feelings about someone I should be over. But the anger is better than the crippling sadness I felt Thursday so I guess I’m getting there. I shall be dealing with Owen’s PC with a hangover. Again. Heh. I believe after Monday I might actually give up drinking for a while... Planning on doing Leeds with Deev in early March. Free train ticket one way, see? So he’s going to come here for a weekend, stick around and then we’ll both travel back on the Tuesday and I’ll molest DanLad for a bit whilst he works. So I get some time off work, I get to see DanLad and Matt - I haven’t seen them since the October Bash - and I get to do Leeds I shall see if zoink is about too and then I might actually get to meet him at last...it’s not like I’ve been chatting to him online for like 5 years or anything like that... Wrote to ref an yesterday. Asked him if I’m allowed to come see him. I’ll have to be all straight acting an stuff if I do. Adam says they moved him to Reading recently so it might take a while for the letter to catch up with him, but we’ll see. Much as I’m not gonna go out with him ever again, I still miss him and still think about him and worry about him in that place. Lloyd had a date. I shall ask him later how it went I only mention it so he can get all embarrassed about it and tell me he hates me again...he doesn’t really Still don’t know if I’m doing Blue tomorrow or not. Hopefully he’ll phone. Was idly going through gaydar and found a photo of Dan I took on his (now inactive) profile. I think it’s my favourite one of him as it makes him look slightly different to all the others I have of him. People didn’t get Dan. People cept me that is. He cared about me a lot - enough to go out with me even though he wasn’t a chaser. And although it all ended a bit wonkily, we always managed to sort stuff out, which, considering the reason he’s inside, is no mean feat I just wish I could have talked him out of seeing Glen. Then he’d probably be fine still. But, if wishes were horses we’d all be eating steak. Songs whistle through my mind. Currently it’s an old Morrissey track. He’s the best (apart from Kate...oh, and Floyd too...) Seasick yet still docked I am a poor freezingly cold soul So far from where I intended to go Scavenging through life’s very constant lows So far from where I’m determined to go Wish I knew the way to reach the one I love There is no way ... Wish I had the charm to attract<