Bad people night. Could really see the cracks in the group. Warren spent time poking one of them, not sure if he realised. But it’s all good - he’s ordered me food from Tesco because he’s naughty. Must make someone be in to accept delivery tomorrow. Was nice to see huggie out and about. And Ollie’s coming to my leaving drinks too. Some pillars remain. Some foundations can’t be shaken. Gives me hope. link:.Owen’s also coming to my leaving do. Yay. Might invite Nikki as well just to amuse Rach So, day two of sobriety and I managed an evening full of queens. And I did the Swan too. Interesting conversation with João yesterday. I didn’t listen to his advice so I am stupid. He spent so long trying to get his point across that he didn’t hear what I was saying. And when I told him that you help no-one by telling them what to do he simply accused me of using “pre made” sentences. He probably thinks I read it somewhere. He told me that the game I’m playing won’t end the way I want it to - I don’t think he realised that that’s not what I’m doing, I don’t have a way I want it to end. If I knew the end I’d be manipulating others to that end. And where’s the fun in knowing the ending? I’m sure that if he took the time and effort to see me as I really am he might get it - but he thinks I’m simple trying to be complicated because he’s never looked that deep. Am happy to give it time and let him decide if he wants to be my friend or not. I understand why he’s hurt even if I don’t agree. Gaz has decided he wants to fund the colocation of stone.freakcity.net - so #freakcity will have its own dedicated box and I can start on version 3 of the site. *smirk* Wanderlust is subsiding. I know I can make this place into the place I want to be. I no longer need to run. My anger is gone, I need to fill the emptiness it left with the stuff that has yet to be turned into emotion. All around me I see connections. I see beauty again and feel the warmth of others. A new opportunity has opened - now I just have to wait and see who else notices