Worried about people, especially Ollie at the mo Fade to black is still screaming round my head My 1.1 network appears to have broken - will investigate why later - suspect a routing issue brought about by a botched auto upgrade. Late for work by 25 minutes because of it and still no wlan. Cock. About to make Adam’s life really suck if he doesn’t improve. Had enough. My livingroom stinks and everyone else is pissed off with cleaning when he does nothing. Teej will be ok as he’s off to Blackpool today. James might just snap, but it might do him good. He’s been a bit shat on recently and could probably use the stress relief The other two won’t be mentioned until they explain exactly why they felt the need to go through all my journals with Bobby. Home last night - James had been tidying and I cooked and we all sat down to Carnivà and it was good. Adam arrived with David - he had money (curious) but paid me no rent. And they’d been drinking. Cheers Adam. He went to his mum’s and David went to sleep - so all was good again. They’re really bad for each other and will work it out soon enough. My cheque to KHRP bounced I think. Fuckers. I’d never done this now. Really is causing me a headache. Then again - if I hadn’t have spent all my money on me and David having a good time and gone to Amsterdam I’d probably be ok now. Of course that’s all my fault and nothing to do with him leading me to believe things, being manipulative and lying. Still - the signs were there and I chose to believe a lie. Which in his eyes makes it all my fault. “You only hurt yourself” - yes - finding out he had two other boyfriends whilst he was telling me how much he cares about me was my fault for looking - right? After he used the “you only hurt yourself” line I told him I was going to bed - he said “it’s because you didn’t like what I said” - I replied with “no, it’s because I absolutely disagree with what you said”. So the game continues. When he was at Peter’s he conspired with Peter’s flatmates - only went out with them - unaware that everything he told Anthony went back to Peter. I had to help him get out of there because it was bad and “Peter is not my friend” - so I paid for his ticket to Amsterdam (he promised to pay me back) as he was going to live there for a few months to look after his mother. 2 weeks later I went out to visit him (unaware when I arrived that he already had at least 2 boyfriends and that one had stayed there with him in a hotel the weekend before) and paid for pretty much everything we did (cept a few drinks in a bar he got for us by snogging a bloke when he thought I wasn’t looking) and then got him back again. And as soon as we’re back I find out he’s shagging someone else. On top of the various boyfriends. So now I’m the one who’s not his friend, I’m the one who’s in the wrong, I’m the one who he needs to get out of the home of and guess what? Someone is buying him a ticket out of here. Doubtless he told them he’d pay them back too. Not that I’m bitter, see, I’ve just had enough of lies in my life. I need to write this down to get it out and get it gone. I dunno. Might be hard on him if he reads it, but it was his choices that led me here and every action has an equal and opposite reaction. It’ll all be over soon anyways - I’ve changed, I’m not the same person. I just have to wait and see who I will have with me in this fun thing called life.