Goodness. I’m on a tube and it’s being delayed. Who’d have thought? I still have the urge to write down everything in my head but it’s less so now. I am finding the pieces of me inside here that I can mend what is broken. Feeling stronger every day. Work do Weds at Kew Gardens. FAR too much champagne and Stella and White Wine and shite. Not literal shite though - Told Peter the real reason I was late the week before and he almost fell off his chair laughing. Managed to behave I think - don’t remember a great deal. Coach back to the office got us to Hammersmith at 12:15am which was a little fucking pointless. So. Peter and I negotiated with the coach driver to get a lift to Tower Bridge. Ooh, I thought. Southwark Street. XXL. Yummy Staggered to the Swan for almost 2. Sulked at Liam until he let me in. Found everyone. Stayed up until 5am chatting to Adam. Too many questions unanswered. Woke up with an exceedingly painful and red eye so didn’t go to work as PC screens and brightness really hurt lots. Sat online lots. Was meant to be going out with David in the evening but he was being rubbish so lloyd came over and we did the bear night together. Rah! Explained to lloyd where things are with David - think it surprised him. Maybe I’ll make someone confront him about it. Maybe I’ll do it myself. Maybe I’ll leave it for him to work out. I just know that when he does, it will of course all be my fault He told me the other day that he’d not been the one to hurt me and that I’d been the one who hurt myself. Revisionism is so a trait I look for in a man. Not. Bear night was pretty fucking shite anyways. Only about 5 people there. Went home to let the rather late David in and played music lots. Dragged out my keyboard and showed Lloyd a load of stuff, then got pizza, watched Buffy a bit and went to bed. Urgh. Got to sleep at about 4am - oops... And today’s song comes courtesy of Metallica. Unforgiven. New blood joins this earth And quickly he’s subdued Through constant pained disgrace The young boy learns their rules With time the child draws in This whipping boy done wrong Deprived of all his thoughts The young man strugggles on and on he’s known A vow unto his own That never from this day His will they’ll take away Chorus What i’ve felt What i’ve known Never shined through in what i’ve shown Never be Never see Won’t see what might have been What i’ve felt What i’ve known Never shined through in what i’ve shown Never free Never me So i dub thee UNFORGIVEN They dedicate their lives To running all of his He tries to please then all This bitter man he is Throughout his life the same He’s battled constantly This fight he cannot win A tired man they see no longer cares The old man then prepares To die regretfully That old man here is me Chorus You labeled me I’ll label you So i dub thee UNFORGIVEN