one of the pics I took of Dan at the weekend So last night I had the most amazingly surreal dreams. They included fragments from locations in other dreams (there’s a whole city in my head, it features quite often) - this was in the night club in the city - downstairs there were big silver shiny doors which you could travel through and into a sauna. The floor was flooded and the whole place was lit green, tiled floor and tiled seats with metal mesh dividers with hooks for clothes. I walked through the water to the far end and the hatchway where there was a man. I asked him a question - a dog ran past me and into the room with the man in. It startled me. The man got undressed and proceeded to let the dog lick parts of him - gradually, like zombies, the rest of the people in the sauna seemed to join him. I left... I was suddenly with friends, it was snowing, we’d been out together and one of them (the one I liked) had pulled a guy just so we could get a lift home. The one I liked looked suspiciously like Darryl which is strange as I’ve not seen him in about four years. We got in the car, I dozed, then I woke up and realised we were at the other guy’s place, not at my place. I was upset but accepted it and went in. I woke up and the house was quiet. I couldn’t tell if the guy sat in front of me was the one that the one I liked had gone off with and I was very tired. I knew that it was 7am and I had to be at work very soon and I couldn’t find anyone to help me. I needed people to be quick but they all lethargically wandered around telling me that sure they’d do this for me, give me a lift home, find the one I like, etc but then they’d wander off and not do it. Then I woke up. There was more but it’s faded. I wanted to run through and type it all when I awoke but my computer was in a room being occupied by David and Matt and I didn’t want to disturb them. Or something. Sometimes I feel like all the answers are held within me if only I could find the key. Sometimes I feel like I am the crux, the fulcrum, and that all my choices are leading me to a point in time. What comes beyond that I don’t know. Was late to work yesterday on account of Dan being silly with a pair of handcuffs and my shorts/phone/wallet. Tsk. Love him to bits but he ain’t half a handful when he doesn’t get his way - really dull day at work. Finished and headed to Retro, was meeting James for a drink - we went to the KA and drank beer, chatted, took the piss out of people, etc. I’ve missed him lots, blessim...told him I needed to find a new man and he just said “not yet” which is probably sensible. He’s worried about me seeing Dan again as Dan is a tad unpredictable, but I think it’ll be ok. It comes down to something when I have to spend time with Dan because his life is calmer than mine and I can hide at his. Need to make people stop treating my flat like a hotel. Was woken up (again) by Adam coming in late after drinking. I start a new job in less than a month and I need my head sorted by then and I *can’t* do it in this environment. So words will be said. Harsh words. Because the only people who can help me are the ones who aren’t part of the problem and certain people really need to understand this.