She is EVIL! Evil I say! Went to see Mike’s installation piece “Bare” today. Took camera as he needed someone to take photographs of it all - it was very impressive. Well thought out, very well presented and somewhat creepy too. All the stuffed animals and teddies and dolls and stuff that he could acquire from friends that had bad memories attached to them were arranged on plinths next to plaques detailing their crimes against humanity. Some were presents from exes, some were from long left employers, all told tales of woe. The room was lit a moody blue, each light highlighting a toy of terror, and random chilled out music played to accompany the joss sticks and tealights littered about the floor. Shoes were left outside, conversation was kept to a low murmur as people wandered from item to item persusing their tales. If there was a story/toy combination you felt an affinity with then you could take the toy to Mike and he would take you upstairs to deal with it. I chose a small plastic doll. It had been left in a supermarket by a small child, never to be reclaimed. After living for 6 months behind the till it was sent to Mike to put it out of it’s misery. It spoke to me with its big empty rolling eyes and thatcheresque hair. It spoke to me of evil. It looked like it had come straight out of Bride of Chucky as a supporting actress. I knew it had to be ended... Mike took me upstairs for the ritual cleansing. I sat down, the doll was put in front of me and I had water poured over my hands. Dried them and then lit a candle. Mrs Chucky looked up at me with dead eyes. Feeling no remorse I took the scissors offered to me and then started to go to work. The first thing I did was remove the awful hair, rendering her asexual, and then the first cut across her stomach. I think I smiled as I slowly turned her and completed the job, severing her torso in two. Then I removed a leg. Then another one. Pulling the last of her stuffing out I then removed the arms after prompting from Mike. I swear that boy’s more twisted than I am. Mike took the remains and I followed him back downstairs with the candle. We then poured her parts onto the large pile that had already been created by many previous cleansings. Her spirit was put to rest as I placed the candle on her plinth, but as I turned away I’m sure I saw her eyes move and I swear her mouth twitched into a slight smile, as if to say “I shall find you again, in your dreams, just wait”. Adam did a poor defenceless doggie hand puppet. The bastard. Some mad people turned up and ambled around a while acting like the teddy defence league or something. “Oh. I’m not sure I agree with that. I mean, the teddies have bad memories associated with them, but it’s hardly their fault now is it?” We stopped there for a couple of hours, watching cleansing after cleansing - then when it had got too much we ambled home via the whole of Tottenham Hotspur’s supporters on a train. Which was fun. Some cunt threw a rock at Adam’s head in Bethnal Green. Still, this was Bethnal Green, so perhaps we got off lightly. Walked back via Sainsburys and gorgeous little baby vegetables and then ate lamb. Now I’m sat here bored, considering going out and drinking beer. Yay!