Friday 2nd September 2005 In a prerecorded message aired last night on Arab television stations, Osama Bin Laden’s top lieutenant Sam Am Tha Mumbah claimed that the devastation wrought on New Orleans was divine intervention from Allah - revenge on the USA for its middle eastern policy. He warned that the US could expect more attacks in a similar vein if they did not withdraw from Iraq and stop funding Israel. The youngish looking man, dressed in typical Arab clothes and a pair of shades, spoke of the devastation in Iraq and how Allah had promised to make the unbelievers pay for what they’d done. In response to the 15 minute tape aired on Al Jazeera, President Bush stated that they were “right to pursue the Muslims in this war of terror” and that he felt “totally justified” about the war in Iraq, stating “if these people are capable of attacking us, we must eradicate them. I thank god that he gave me the strength to hit them first or it could have been New Orleans times 10” Pat Robertson was said to be “deeply upset” that it wasn’t in fact his god that was responsible for this. The elderly swivel eyed loon had previously echoed claims from Fred Phelps that this tragedy had been a punishment from god for all the depravity in New Orleans.