I feel tired - perhaps jaded might be a better description. Yesterday was nice, having lunch with aziraphale and then sitting out by the canal with other gayers (some of them from here) and chatting - it finished all too soon though and I had to come home and head out for work in the pub. I’d sort of, hell no I had arranged to meet a guy this morning, but he was a no-show. Why does that always happen to me? Headed over to a family thing this afternoon (nephew’s birthday) and then came home. Nice to see family but it kinda makes me sad - for what’s not there any more I guess. I’ve just used the BT website to complain about them being unable to provide me with a BB enabled line when the property next door has one (and has since Xmas Eve 2004 - about the time they were telling me I couldn’t). I look forward to seeing what they come up with. Now I’m sat here thinking that I really need to sort my head out, but I really don’t know where to start. I’m not sure about shoulders to cry on either, I don’t like burdening people. I may talk to one of my friends about proper ‘professional’ help (as she’s been through it. I also have a friend who has a friend who’s a counsellor so she might be able to point me in some sort of direction.