AdamAlarming, blonde, comical, dizzy, evil, feculating, gratuitous, handsome, intellectual, jolly, kitten-ish, lovely, morish, nonse, opulant, precious, queen, ravisher, shopper, tall, undeniable, verocious, wanker, xenophobe, yellowed, zany; is how the alphabet would describe me

Bingowings’s blog

Here’s to friends!

Tuesday October 2nd, 2007 at 2:40am

For a while, I’ve noticed a trend - my world is shrinking. It’s not as sentationalist as it sounds though, just my own realisation. My world has always been my family and my friends, despite my often polluting it. My family has not grown, nor has anyone departed it, my social network has grown, but only to the point of having more acquaintances than any black book could cope with. But still I notice the shrinking, because more and more I realise it is the friends I had that mean the most to me, the ones I miss and somehow, through my own doing, they’re all so very far away from me even though none are more than a day away, But this has also made me realise something else - it has taught me I’m not the person I was. I used to think I had friends and I could pick them up or dump them whenever I wished, safe in the knowledge that they’d be there when I want to pick them up again, this is simply not true. I miss the friends I had, although I will make others, they will not have the memories I have - but through having those memories with old friends to losing them, I have changed. I’ve become stronger, more open and most of all, more honest - I’ve found me, and I needed that before I found anyone else. So whether they realise they impacted me or not and whether they respect or even still think about me or not, I will always respect and think about the friends I had, they helped make me who I am now, not who I was then - this is why my world is shrinking, because of those facts. It will get bigger again and through personal growth and work, hopefully it wont shrink again, but for now, I’m happy in my shrunken world, because it let me grow and it let old friends heal old wounds. So - to old friends and new, a toast!

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