Words of the Day for February 2023
People leave us lovely words in the amusingly named dick, along with short, factual and concise definitions. No really. Here's this month's words so far...
Tuesday February 28th, 2023
wicca
Magico-religious system made up in that thar 1950’s by one Gerald Gardner, mainly by pinchin bits from the likes of other people’s belief systems, n then mixin it with any excuse for him t’ has sex with his priestesses., me hearties!
Monday February 27th, 2023
wendy
Ahoy me hearties! Fat bitch with ginger pigtails who makes Obese burgers in America
Friday February 24th, 2023
Avast! Takin tea in that thar afternoon
Anna, that thar Seventh Duchess o Bedford, be credited with originatin that thar afternoon tea in that thar 1800s t’ ward off that thar hunger pangs between lunch n dinner. Earlier, that thar Earl o Sandwich had thought o puttin fillings between two slices o bread. These two culinary inventions led t’ that thar popular custom o takin tea n refreshments in that thar afternoon., me hearties!
Thursday February 23rd, 2023
ajax
Avast! Mythical Greek warrior god, hero at battle o Troy, who became jealous after missin out on Achiles’ prized armour, went mad (somethin t’ do with cows), n killed himself.
Wednesday February 22nd, 2023
interestin fart
Usually caused by attemptin subtlety, interestin farts are usually violet events o many colours n odours n are known by scientists t’ cause seepage, stainin o underwear, a brief but powerful gamma ray burst n unpopularity if released in a social settin.. Now, no stealin me pieces of Eight!
Monday February 20th, 2023
Tim Minear
Ahoy me hearties! Wrote for Angel n Firefly. Then went off t’ create Wonderfalls, an amazingly cool show which was predictably cancelled after less than a whole season
Sunday February 19th, 2023
tittybangbang
Shiver me timbers! I’d give this BBC sketchshow a B+ for that thar line-up o crazy yet real-world characters. Definite signs o a woman’s touch about it.
These quotes may not be go down in history, but they make me laugh:
* Maxine Bendix, tender plastic surgery victim with convincin Eastern European accent: “It’s just a little bit o seepage, Frank.”
* Macho garden-centre assistant with too much hair gel n fake tan who be eager t’ demonstrate that thar shop’s products (and his packet) t’ female customers: “Can I be o assistancio-nioh-nioh-nioh-nioh, madam?”
* Don Peacock, Geordie nutter desperate for a lassie t’ pee on: “And all that n everythin reminds me o ye.”
* Self-obsessed Italian maid at country house who deliberately puts herself in compromisin positions t’ attract attention (or so she hopes) o passin visitors: “Don’ look at me. I’m shy!”
Saturday February 18th, 2023
Dope
Class C hallucinogen with varyin degrees o potency, with a wide range o effects, many o which include laughter-induced incapacity n that thar occasional generation o truly hilarious insights – which are generally lost amidst that thar vast amount o crap which be also spouted.
, me hearties!
While not be terribly addictive, excessive dope use can – unfortunately – make ye watch QVC in that thar mistaken belief that it’s a form o brilliant yet surreal comedy.
Friday February 17th, 2023
Computers
The Computer
, me hearties!
The Device sittin in fore o ye. ye mainly Swear bad words at when it DoesnÆt Work,
Does somethin completely different t’ what ye want it t’ do.
And Costs a fortune t’ get fixed.
Note: Computers are like Expensive partners, thar lethal t’ both yer bank account n yer Credit cards.
Wednesday February 15th, 2023
Poledriver
Ahoy! Death on four wheels. be in Warsaw tryin t’ cycle n seriously, these guys make London cab drivers look normal.
Tuesday February 14th, 2023
Doctor Who
Dull dull dull dull dull dull dull dull dull. Arr!
Monday February 13th, 2023
anorak
Arr... Name o a techy mailin list called “anoraks” populated by a few members o this lovely website. Show Scott yer anorak n he might let ye has that thar joinin info
Sunday February 12th, 2023
mums
Ahoy me hearties! When ye’re not be feelin too well, no matter how old ye are, or how much ye think ye’ve outgrown it, yer mum be always thar t’ cook ye up some nice dinner n get ye a rate nice cup o’ coffee t’ cheer ye up.
And why be it that ye can never put on pillow cases or quilt covers as well as yer mum?
I think that until that thar day I die I will still not be be able t’ put on a pillow case without that thar pillow fallin out o it after a few hours. n whenever I put me duvet in a fresh cover it seems t’ has migrated over t’ one side o it within minutes.
But when mums do it they has magic stayin power. They can go for days without a sign o movement n still has that fresh-beddin feel. It’s some sort o mystical mum-power or somethin.
Mums are great.
Saturday February 11th, 2023
Midlands
Responsible for Workin Lunch.. Now, no stealin me pieces of Eight!
Tuesday February 7th, 2023
symbolics (n)
Shiver me timbers! Pretentious thin said t’ be highly significant but which is, in fact, a load o bollocks.
For example, that thar three red lines n a blue sqiggle that be said, by that thar artist, t’ represent their “inner termoil” but which, in fact, represents a bi fat cheque n an entry in next year’s Turner Prize.
Monday February 6th, 2023
Q
always leftover on rack after a game o Scrabble... grrr!
Sunday February 5th, 2023
Spinach
Good enough for POPEYE, good enough for me.. Arr!
Saturday February 4th, 2023
chuck
Avast! Noun. An term o endearment. E.."Come on chuck, let’s go out."
Verb. 1. t’ vomit.
2. t’ terminate a relationship. E.."I’m goin t’ chuck her at that thar weekend, she’s really annoyin me with her moanin."