Words of the Day for May 2025
People leave us lovely words in the amusingly named dick, along with short, factual and concise definitions. No really. Here's this month's words so far...
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Diarhhoea
Tendency to crap too much
see squits
see Bum Wee
See Verbal Diarrhoea
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Dolphinstar
Two random, unconnected nouns brutally stapled together to form a wooly, gay name for a less-wooly and less gay man
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Shaina Twain
is an evil evil woman who sings evil evil songs!
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Bingle
The noise a computer makes when it wants your attention 
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Olives
Small metal rings used in plumbing two pieces of copper pipe together....aha!
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Fox
American network that fucks around with, and then prematurely cancels, really good TV shows
Saturday May 31st, 2025
prophylaxis
Preventing exposure to nasty diseases by spending most of the night editing your profile instead of partying.
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Rhyn
My band. Recently released a home-recorded CD with a few songs I’ve writ, and soon to follow with DVD including footish of us prancing about, running over seals and cooking! It’s early days yet, Rhynners!
Saturday May 31st, 2025
SPACED
One of the best places to steal all of your witty one liners from.
e.g. ‘Woah there pickle’
Saturday May 31st, 2025
List
Mark Thomas Mailing List aka The List aka the Gay Cabal
Saturday May 31st, 2025
Brussel sprouts
Also known as ’The Devil’s Own Vegetable’. Green things boiled to mush and served up as something you can eat – I mean c’mon!!!
Friday May 30th, 2025
bus rolling
Similar to cow-tipping, but a lot more effort.
Friday May 30th, 2025
pigeons
Flying rats. Good for shooting in Trafalgar Square if the arrest and subsequent incarceration don’t bother you too much
Friday May 30th, 2025
sex
The question/gap/blank space on application forms, questionnaires and profiles that people usually place humourous comments in
Friday May 30th, 2025
cheese
Yellow stuff you put or pout on crackers in the absense of marmite.
Friday May 30th, 2025
Curve321
I like that this is next to Cuntsticks in the dictionary.
Friday May 30th, 2025
BNP
The British National Party.
A bunch of racist idiots, led by some clever racists.
Have somehow weedled their way into serious British Politics, mainly relying on opportunism.
Friday May 30th, 2025
tatchel
Peter is a martyr. We should all thank him, really. At the same time, we can’t help wondering whether he Takes A Stand like he does because he was bullied at school for having a name that rhymes with satchel.
Friday May 30th, 2025
Spod
The best word to use to refer coloquially to a “potato” if your “u” key’s broken
Friday May 30th, 2025
David Blunkett
so short signted about the country I swear the man is blind.. oh he is?
Friday May 30th, 2025
Shaking coconuts off of the veiny love tree
Euphamism for Tidying my room
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Lucky dip day
When you run out of clean pants then find a pair rummaging in the laundry bin
Thursday May 29th, 2025
spiders
Arachnids. The hairy ones are usually quite cute
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Countryside
fresh air and fields rapidply being erorded by Tesco, B&Q, Homebase, Mcvomitit drive thrus and plastic happy chefs. and pseudo villages for the “we’ve just moved here from Finchley” set
Thursday May 29th, 2025
tube surf
The art of looking immensely cool as you travel the underground whilst standing up without using hands. Honest. Dead cool.
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Longer than Antidisestablishmentarianism, a disease of the lungs caused by dust.
Thursday May 29th, 2025
bullshit
Also a great TV Show staring an American magic act duo; Penn & Teller.
The show aims to dissprove common social beliefs, To date the show has shown episodes on: Alien abduction, hypnotism, recylcing, health foods, the bible, psychology, excercise and talking to the dead. For the legal reasons they use the world bullshit to avoid being sued.
Thursday May 29th, 2025
online fora
Alternative plural (to online forums) of online forum. Sorry.
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Heathcunt
Name of made for TV musical starring Cliff Richard following slight alteration to the genuine billboard advert by unknown Croydon graffito artist.
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Dishonesty
See also Blair lies lies its all lies....there is a Swansea
Thursday May 29th, 2025
Central Trains
A Dead Parrot – See East Midlands Trains or London Midland
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
bus surf
Where you stand unaided on the floor of a bus using just your keen sense of balance and sharp wits to stay on two feet.
Amusing for you as you test your amazing skillz, amusing for your friends when you accidentally end up diving face first into an unsuspecting granny’s breasts because you’re really not as cool as you might think
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
Milton Keynes
Place where I live right now that no one should ever come to as its a housing estate around a shopping centre! If you havent been before you’re not missing much, if you have then please join my support group and meet fellow MK Victims.
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
flapping
What one does in lieu of actual work in an office if one is management and there is a deadline approaching.
Generally slows down work for everyone else, forcing them to work late, but makes you feel better.
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
closet
Noun. The condition where one’s homosexuality is concealed. ‘Coming out of the closet’ implying living true to one’s sexuality.
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
biscuits
When chosen with care they make an excellent accompaniment to tea.
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
LOL
Uninspiring comment generally used by illiterate 12 year-olds at the end of every sentence.
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
Woo-woo
sirens on a Police car usualy refferred to in the pural in lines like “Serg, can we use our woo- woos on this shout?”
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
Titan
a. nice guy.
b. a moon going around one of the largest planet in the sol system.
c. a source for unique spelling and grammar.
d. unique
Wednesday May 28th, 2025
Clue
Half an hour of damn funny radio. And Tim Brooke-Taylor
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
FeckArse
Moogal’s computer, named after watching a lot of Father Ted.
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Disco
dance music made with instruments popular in the later half of the 70s OR...
the main ingredient in most music trash today!!
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Kylie
The word “Kylie” is Aboriginal and means “Boomerang”. Not a lot of people know that.
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Lloyded
Solemm offical Act of hugging performed by the black Chaser Lloyd. Involves him grabbing your belly from behind, while pressed close to you, and running said hands acrross belly in a circular motion. Mostly used as a form of Bear/chub tester to see how well friends have developed, but also used as a form of affection for a good and strong friend. May involve Lloyd purring like a little girl and making solemm ‘mmmm’ noises.
Warning: Noises may possibly be of Lloyd thinking dirty things to do with subject during Rubbing phase. You have been warned.
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Alan Parker
Top director. Directed films such as:
The Wall, Birdy, Evita, Mississippi Burning, The Commitments, The Road to Wellville.
Prior to moving into film, Alan was noted as one of London’s most talented advertising copywriters. He worked for the Collet Dickinson Pearce (CDP) ad agency in the 1960’s and early 1970’s, and began directing his own tvc scripts in their basement. Formed a partnership with David Puttnam as his producer (Puttnam had been a photographers agent), and left CDP to become a full time director of commercials before moving onto features. – IMDB
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Fox
Lawrence Fox. Latest in a long line of acting Foxes. Has a very appealing shower scene in the film /The Hole/
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
butch
How Mage describes himself. (See quote 551)
Mage gives his name to the measure of butchness, the Mage Butchness Unit (MBU). Mage himself is 1000 MBU.
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
grooming
An act of kindness with an aim to get something in return. For example a telephone number, or perhaps for a favour, or to gain extra contact means with someone, possibly for romantic reasons.
/Sunin was grooming the newly met boy at the bar in the hope of getting his phone number, becoming better friends under that pretense to gain romantic involvement with him./
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Tea
The giver of life. Solves all problems in the world ever.
Tuesday May 27th, 2025
Pirates
People who steal cargo from ships looking dead sexy as they do it. And say things like ‘savvy’ and have really cool names like Captain Jack Sparrow and Bootstrap Bill....arrrrrrrrrrrr!!
Monday May 26th, 2025
Bukkake
Where mummy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy decide mummy needs a new facial.
Monday May 26th, 2025
Gooch
The sensitive bit between your hole and your genuine Italy (or the “gen Italia” as they say).
Monday May 26th, 2025
Oyster card
Privacy destroying system that doesn’t work all that well anyways.
Whaddya mean “why are you still on paper tickets, Owen?”?
Monday May 26th, 2025
Kitten-on-a-stick
Evil and cruel. Penalty for BBQ kittens on sticks is instant death.
Monday May 26th, 2025
Willow
A rather bad 1988 film directed by Ron Howard which contracted practically every dwarf in the country as an extra.
Sunday May 25th, 2025
Snot
Something (usually) green that hangs out of one’s nose. The best snot I have seen was an “episode” of snottery that happened when I was at primary school in 1989 by my friend Rachel Monnox
Sunday May 25th, 2025
antidisestablishmentarianism
A shorter word that antidisestablishmentarianistic
Sunday May 25th, 2025
nifty
FAG STORIES!
Tell your Drwho/captainJack midgetfistingorgy fantasy here!
Sunday May 25th, 2025
politician
If one shakes your hand, count your fingers afterwards. If their lips move they are lying.
Sunday May 25th, 2025
404
for ooooooh four
realiseing he/she is speaking about the number not the word
Sunday May 25th, 2025
Bum wee
The type of diahorrea that you get after a heavy night’s drinking (or five). Like dishwater but less pleasant, it streams out from between your cheeks and makes weewee noises in the bowl
Sunday May 25th, 2025
John Waters
A comedy god; the Pope of Trash and the god of bad taste. Manages to make coprophilia, incest, rape, child abuse and all manner of other perversions hysterically funny.
Sunday May 25th, 2025
canal street
In Manchester
Centre of Gay Village
See also Anal Treet
Sunday May 25th, 2025
Doctor Who
Sci-fi show that is mysteriously popular amongst men in their 30s and 40s, especially gay ones (straight ones usually watch for the assistant instead).
Sunday May 25th, 2025
IQ
IQ Points.
If you collect enough of these you can join Mensa, which is Latin for table. Why the hell you would want to join a table is beyond me.
Sunday May 25th, 2025
firefly
Amazing sci-fi show that was axed by the Evil Fox after about 10 episodes...now available as a 13 episode DVD and soon to be available as a film, it charts the story of nine people living on a spaceship and getting up to all kinds of mischief. Cross the sharp writing team of Buffy with a little of the A Team and Babylon 5 and throw in a touch of Spaceballs and a healthy dollop of spaghetti western and hey, it sounds unlikely, but it all works.
Home to lines as great as:
Wash: Psychic? Sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoe: We live on a spaceship dear
and:
Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
Dead good. Go see.
Sunday May 25th, 2025
Mottram-in-Longdendale
The arse-end of civilisation. I searched for about half-an-hour to find a decent link. I couldn’t find one. Just search on Google or said equivalent.....you’ll see what I mean
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Cottaging Cheese
Crusty man fat detritus found on most surfaces of gentlemens public toilets.
Saturday May 24th, 2025
sickipedia
Sick jokes compendium from the people that brought you b3ta
Saturday May 24th, 2025
arsebreath
the noxious fumes that emenate during a trouser cough
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Pretty men
[n. pl.] A particular genus of human noted for their aesthetically pleasing arrangement of facial features and/or hairstyle. Most tend to look good half dressed and photographed in black and white. May or may not have more than two GCSEs.
Saturday May 24th, 2025
willies
The thing I say to my boyfriend to make him laugh.....except when preceded by the word “big” which has the opposite effect
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Tanqueray
Decent gin. My preference. Wonderful stuff, particularly the stuff we export. Nice green bottle too
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Daily Nail
Like the Daily Mail but it knows it’s a load of dren.
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Fox
A quick brown one of these jumped over a llazy dog once I believe...
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Bobby Davro
Strange man. I sat on his knee once, and there are photos to prove it.
Saturday May 24th, 2025
G-A-Y Bar
The only bar I’ve ever been to which had a queue to get in.
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Gin (with tonic
Whilst I can’t knock the G&T and find said delicious I think I should warn that to be protected from malaria by the quinine in a G&T one needs to drink enough to incurr liver failure. At least if you mix your G&Ts properly
Saturday May 24th, 2025
Gaydar
Supposedly what all gay men are equipped with to “spot” their own kind. Well mine must have been left out when I was assembled cos I’m fucked if I can spot one...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Q
always leftover on rack after a game of Scrabble... grrr!
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Fat Guys
Amazingly goregeous people to certain breeds of gays, who deserve every bit of attention they get. Usually ridiculed by the population at large, spend their time doing fat guy things like smoking a lot, being depressed, starting a family, etc...
– Warning, may be over/under sensitive to thinner people
Friday May 23rd, 2025
slime
groovy green stuff that goes round the inside of your bike tyre, thus rendering it almost impossible to get a puncture without the aid of a pneumatic drill
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Cheese Toastie
When a man hasn’t been in the shower for a few weeks, and has sex so fast it causes friction burn...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
schnews
Bunch of fluffy people in Brighton who try and give an alternative point of view on the news. More at their website below
Friday May 23rd, 2025
defenestration
Also a rather poor excuse for a “nu-metal” band from Wellingborough.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Uri- Lift
Pick up a Hungarian twat of a spoon bender in you car.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Kermit’s Mouth
Slang for the shallow hinged flap of scrotum and nerve endings surgeons approximate for a vagina in male to female transsexuals. Sex with such an organ is said to be akin to ‘pushing your foot into a shoe which has had the toe stuffed with paper’.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
sandra
A Blue, dented 206 motorcar owned by the infamous cynds in the 00’s
Friday May 23rd, 2025
pre-raphaelite
Some said Princess Diana had a pre-raphaelite nose.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Jesus Army
evil people who try to run me over everytime they see me in the street!
Friday May 23rd, 2025
netsplit
What happens when a chain of IRC servers breaks – if one becomes unsynched from the rest then half the people in your channel “split” off and vanish. In olden days, IRC pirates used to ride in on netsplits with ops and seize power from you and theive your channels, but then the server admins decided to stop all that malarkay and IRC became infinitely less fun 
Friday May 23rd, 2025
self-worship
The worship of oneself, this act usually occurs after much alcohol, or when one shaves
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Ramsey, Gordon
A man who needs his mouth washed out with soap. He also needs to leave his clothes on when he is on the TV. In fact, all of the time he needs to keep them on. I mean always. Eurgh, he’s dirty.
Oh, and he’s a chef.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Creative County
Slogan used by Staffordshire County Council on roadsigns at major entry points. May not be related to wholesale closure of the ceramics industry in the Potteries, coalmining and metal-bashing in the Black Country. Perhaps it refers to JCB at Uttoxeter.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
khrp
+The Kurdish Human Rights Project+
The KHRP is a registered charity. It is committed to the protection of the human rights of all persons within the Kurdish regions, irrespective of race, religion, sex, political persuasion or other belief or opinion. Its supporters include both Kurdish and non-Kurdish people.
Scott maintains their website
Friday May 23rd, 2025
SPACED
One of the most inspired comedies of recent history. Best watched whilst under some sort of influence, but just as bizarre when sober.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Dope
Class C hallucinogen with varying degrees of potency, with a wide range of effects, many of which include laughter-induced incapacity and the occasional generation of truly hilarious insights – which are generally lost amidst the vast amount of crap which is also spouted.
While not terribly addictive, excessive dope use can – unfortunately – make you watch QVC in the mistaken belief that it’s a form of brilliant yet surreal comedy.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
ecstasy
Powerful psychadelic drug favoured by clubbers. It is vitally important you avoid using this drug in G-A-Y, else you may end up having a potent spiritual experience involving Rick Astley.
In common with all hallucinogenics, long-term use of ecstasy won’t make you addicted, but it will make you very dull.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Brumble
The act of grumbling in a blustery sort of way. For example, what old people do when they have no intention of doing anything about their greivance, but merely wish you to understand they’re not happy about something and/or everything.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
FILTH AND DEPRAVITY
It’s what’s wrong with Britain. Too much filth and depravity.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
spiders
q.v. “Aragog” in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and “Shelob” in LOTR.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Devon
The place where they know how they make it soooo creamy
Friday May 23rd, 2025
smokers
you’re fingers are all yellow, they’re the colour of poo, and when you get home, your walls are too! – a delightful song about smokers but I can’t recall where it’s from.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
hugging
Like a cuddle,only less intimate, and leading to less sex
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Coffee
A way to describe something normally incomprehensibly and reprehensibly vulgar and disgusting, that actually is quite ok, like said coffee.......difficult to make correctly, smells like burnt toast or fags in its raw state and usually follows after consumption with stomach cramps and sickness.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
dune
Rather good sci-fi novel by Frank Herbert that works like an onion, plans within plans, plots within plots...full of intrigue and scary stuff like that.
So far been made into two excellent movies, both different in style, both covering the book incompletely. The second version was then followed, this year, by “Children of Dune” which was amazingly good and gorgeously produced, even though it was only done by the Sci-Fi Channel
Friday May 23rd, 2025
sci fi
Jason’s Mum pronounces this “skiffy” and does not like it when Jason’s Dad has it on the TV.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
King of Queens
Archetypal fat-guy-skinny-wife late ’90s american sitcom. A non laugh-out-loud event.
See also: According to Jim
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Jim
Extremely embarrassing thing to do, especially when done so professionally by Scott.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Boinking
1. The act of hitting someone over the head with a soft / foam object.
2. fucking someone for the sake of it or for humorous intent.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Farscape
A Sci-Fi series that freakily morphed into Stargate when no one was looking
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Fox
Small furry thing that some people like to send dogs after to kill
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Red Dragon
Very nice and stong stout. Also known to get scareglow’s drunk.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Q-Bert
one of the weirdest arcade games ever to eat your ten pence.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
BombSaph
Bombay Saphire. Another gin I can drink. Bluish in colour, or is that the bottle. Different oodjits in it. Second choice of gins, after tanqueray
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Freakcity
This website. Born from the frustration of another website implementing strange rules a few years back Scott and a couple of others decided we could probably make our own. So we did. We try and make it have the same general feel as IRC but with prettier pictures and no netsplits.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
defenestration
Murdering someone by pushing them out fo a window. Nine out of ten people who know what this word means have read a book by David Eddings
Friday May 23rd, 2025
blue curaco
Nasty evil sticky substance that takes days to get off your skin when you host a Blues Brothers themed party at Fifer’s Lane residences.
And it’s Blue curaþao dammit.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
chavette
Female chav. Often seen wearing fake Burberry, Fake fur, Fake burberry patterned fur, too much lip gloss, enough mascara to clump and big hoopy earrings. Big hair sprouts from under the Burberry hat and they spend most of their giros on the lottery and/or malibu
Speak an incomprehensible language that’s a cross between Northern, R&B slang and Essex. Husbands likely to have tattoos reading "My other wife is a chav..."
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Rangitoto
Blood red sky, volcanically, eruptive, largely misunderstood
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Faeces 8472
A particularly stubborn bottom dropping that resists any biological, chemical or technological means of ridding it from the toilet bowl
Friday May 23rd, 2025
dog
Noun. 1. A sexually unattractive person. Derog.
2. A foot, usually in plural as dogs and often heard used in the expression my dogs are barking. See ‘dogs are barking’.
Verb. To play truant. Also doggin’ it. [Scottish use]
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Llama
Woolly long-necked South American mammal, make great pets and look fab in a tutu. Very talented on rollerskates too, so I hear.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Ben Cohen
.. his brother can be found loitering in my place of work once or twice every year
Friday May 23rd, 2025
feelie
something pleasantly tactile, such as velvet, silk, suede or foreskin; someone who enjoys the feel of feelie things.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
id cards
The last lot we had went on large bonfires together with ration books, to the cheers of the assembled crowds.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Wine
Alcoholic beverage made from grapes, parsnips, dandelions, pretty much anything fruity or vegetable-like.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Eamonn Holmes
Former GMTV presenter, can now be seen on Sky News.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
MySpace Suicide
Leaving MySpace in a strop of “you’re all bastards/nobody understands me/I’ve taken 15,000 aspirin and I’m going now” only to return about 5 days later under a different name whilst looking a little sheepish
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Tuatha de Danon
Also – Tuatha de Dannan
Mythical inhabitants of Ireland – defeated the Formorians, and then were in turn defeated by the Milesians, the first huamn inhabitants of Ireland.
THe focus of much Irish folklore, there are many legends surrounding them
Friday May 23rd, 2025
St. Albans
Some place I stopped off at on a coach to be sick. I remember it had nice houses tho.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
botch
Verb. 1. To build or repair in a makeshift manner.
2. To do something badly.
Noun. 1. A makeshift construction or repair.
2. A thing done badly.
* All the meanings and uses of ‘botch’ are informal. Cf. ‘bodge’.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Bingle
The noise a cashier’s till makes when they press their button to call a supervisor.
As in: “Anne, did you bingle?”
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Meatover
Noun. Like a hangover, but after too much burger. Often happens after a visit to The Bird
Friday May 23rd, 2025
boffins
People like this: www.traintesting.com/images/HST_York_1973.jpg
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Antidisestablishmentarianism
The philosophy of being against sepperating the powers of the Church and the State
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Break
Give a mental image to a person so horrific they run away screaming and whimper under a duvet for a good week or so.
CF: <mogwai > ooh yay,i managed to break wind without getting damp
Friday May 23rd, 2025
body modification
8 years of hormones, 5 years on a shrink, 3 years in a dress and a big chop
Friday May 23rd, 2025
CEX
Computer EXchange.
Dead groovy set of shops and website that sell second hand (and sometimes new) computer bits/dvds/games/anything that has batteries and isn’t a sex toy...
Deeply cool
Friday May 23rd, 2025
G-A-Y
Pretentious bar full of pretentious scene queen fashion slaves who won’t even pas the time of day with you unless you are wearing the last Armani. Go to Trash Palace; its much cooler!
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Q
A damn fine radio station which plays all the best choons!
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Speedophile
Some one who gets the horn out of men in Speedos
Friday May 23rd, 2025
computers
Things that go “bleep” in SciFi movies. Usually have two huge and pointless tape spools on the top...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
The Frames
As far as I am concerned – the greatest band currently on this little rock 
But for most just a fun accoustic Irish rock band with a penchent for nice strings...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
wendy
The branch of Taylor Woodrow that builds colourful houses for children
Friday May 23rd, 2025
golfing umbrellas
Unless you’re on a golf-course, this is just the most irritating US-esque “bigger is beautiful” invention ever created.....even cars don’t get my goat as much as these bloody things do.
How many people do you normally see under them? and how large are their heads?
Just too fucking big.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
trains
The word Train comes from an ancient British word which means Delay. Resurrected by British Rail to keep people happy.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Zoom
Zoom – just one look and then my heart went boom
Suddenly and we were on the moon
Friday May 23rd, 2025
theElusivePossum
A creature one would be lucky to see, hence “elusive”. See also “Hide the Sausage”. I’m smashed right now – Happy Birthday ß moi.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
david blunkett
Gone, good riddance, I wouldn’t ’ave ’im in the back of my cab anyway.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Mobile Phone
device for the downloading of porn off the WAP (WAP: WIRELESS ADULT PHONE)
Friday May 23rd, 2025
conservatives
Ann Winterton... say no more..
the party for Cheshire, surrey, kent, sussex and Hertfordshire...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
PC: spyware ad-ware browser hijack
You been visiting far too many evil doggie porn sites – You need to stop gong to the doggie sites and stop allowing the install ActiveX to install.
Who knows what little Evils where installed – Just never use your credit card ever agene until you install windows from new
Removal tools:
Spybot S&D:
Ad-aware: Personal Edition SE:
www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/
[Both recommended to download and use together & Both are Free]
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Lennymonster
bass playing, vinal spinning, earphone wearing, fiat driving, robinsons fruit barley drinking, chav lovin’... LENNYMONSTER!!!
Friday May 23rd, 2025
cats
The Egyptians thought cats were gods and they haven’t forgotten it.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Bentonite
Will make Superman gay.
Also a type of clay used for its swelling properties on wetting and low permeability.Often referred to by me as ’nature’s tampon’
Friday May 23rd, 2025
cycling
Something I’m not currently able to do as my bike is attached to a large metal grill, never to be freed *grumble*
Friday May 23rd, 2025
food
Food is that thing that makes us not hungry. It’s a yummy thing (cept if Owen’s cooking ) and certainly fun. Find recipes
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Fart
Something I just subjected stikki to. And now she’s run away 
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Milton Keynes
Godforsaken place that has no relevance to the existance of human life, except for the fact it is there. No one likes it, but people actually live there. Now you know hwere the Bogeyman comes from.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Co-Op Out
To veg out on chocolate, crisps and other junk/convenience food from your local corner store.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Pub Quizzes
Collections of like minded superiors who do battle for ghastly amounts of booze, money, food and uranium by answering as many questions as they can correctly in a set amount of time
......well not uranium really, that would be plain silly and tres dangerouse
Friday May 23rd, 2025
habit
Custom(n): Custom, Routine, Pratice, Tradition, Convention, Pattern
Tendency(n): Tendency, Inclination, Leaning, Liking, Preference, Fondness
Addiction(n): Addiction, Problem, Dependency
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Poledriver
Death on four wheels. Am in Warsaw trying to cycle and seriously, these guys make London cab drivers look normal.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Mash Potato
potatos, abused with some kind of squishing device until lumpy and unedible.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
crap
Noun. 1. Nonsense, rubbish, something useless or not good.
2. An act of defecation.
3. Faeces.
Exclam. An exclamation of disbelief, annoyance.
Verb. To defecate. Defecate is infact a euphemism meaning to purify or cleanse. E.g."He crapped behind a tree and wiped his arse (anus) with a huge leaf."
Adj. Rubbishy, of no worth.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
dune
place where naughty behaviour happens at Maspolamas (sp?)
Studland
and Uretiti
Friday May 23rd, 2025
jaffa cakes
Giles is willing to forgive looting for them, so they must be good.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Stuff
What you do to animals to turn them into sick oldpeople art
Friday May 23rd, 2025
bus rolling
bus rolling happens when one forgets hes in a moving bus and rolls down the bus and lands on the back seat in a compromising position...
one may also drop his dinner.. but this can easily be sorted by picking it up from the floor as london busses are super clean..
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Archery
"my Robin Hood what a fantastic arrow, love the tights by the way"
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Showgirls
Fantastic comedy about strippers and their life in the hellhole of Las Vegas. (Play the Showgirls drinking game by drinking every time Gina Gershon says Darlin’ – it’s a great way to get very very drunk.) Pure trash as only the wonderful Paul Verhoeven can do it.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
cats
Small furry creatures that are entirely untrainable and fond of drilling
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Pished
Adj. Drunk, intoxicated. See ‘pissed’.
That marvelous state you enter after 8 or more drinks. When even the ugliest people start to be come attractive and speech becomes a slurred flurry of obscene misspronunciations (try saying that pished) and gratuitous joining and merging of terms. See also Goin’slash, who’ons’a’rink etc.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
furtling
The act of cutting holes in a photograph and popping your knuckles through them to give the appearance of breasts
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Big Brother
A collection of the most pointless waste of skin ever
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Bacon
Try to say “beer-can” without sounding like a Jamaican saying “bacon”
see also: Bacon Sandwiches
Friday May 23rd, 2025
wicca
Magico-religious system made up in the 1950’s by one Gerald Gardner, mainly by pinching bits from other people’s belief systems, and then mixing it with any excuse for him to have sex with his priestesses.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
I so ain’t declaring anything here
Well you didn’t think there’d be any further information by clicking on that link, did you?
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Duckie
Fabulous club night that’s been running for 800 years. Can’t really describe it’s greatness, see link below:
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Slactivist
One who is unable to say anything of import whilst on the toilet.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Quadrilateral Equations
Not as difficult as they first appear but still a rather cruel form of torture inflicted upon key stage 3 pupils.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
45
%age of “girls” on cam4 who are actually guys trying to see some straight dicks
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Canonization
The act of being fired out of the pope’s cannon of love.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Chicago
Home to the USA’s tallest building, and the country’s busiest airport.
Famous for gangsters and jazz.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Reading
A place that everyone has heard of, but no-one can point out on a map
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Countryside
The bit that separates people that is full of animals, poo and other people on horses not cars.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Hokey-Pokey
Also a stupidly annoying playground song which must be banished to the darkest depths of history
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Malibu
It just takes one night of drunken fun with this to make you never wanna drink it again. Try thinking about it’s taste the morning after...
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Copulate
The time it takes a policeman to turn up in an emergency
Friday May 23rd, 2025
nutmeg
Powerful psychoactive whose effects include auditory, visual and spatial hallucinations, extreme lethargy, and a short-term memory which would make even the most extreme pot-head look like the World Memory Champion 1999. Raw material for Ecstasy.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
marmite
Icky, Evil, Nasty, Toxic brown gloop that stinks to high heaven and should be outlawed under the geneva convention
Friday May 23rd, 2025
shes0nfire
Now known as NormanFreeman.
Name taken from a Train song.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Old Kaka
Name for a friendless old witch who delights in spending her twilight years complaining about the slightest noise within a five mile radius of her, with laughable threats to tell the council and frankly baffling resistance to the use of a washing machine on “the Holy day”. Apparently vomits a lot when forced to endure vibration.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Lazarus
Scott’s big laptop. compaq Evo N1020v. Somewhat broken (screenless) this runs headless in Scott’s livingroom as a rdesktop slave. Named after Lazarus Long, a character from Robert A Heinlein’s worlds of scifi
Friday May 23rd, 2025
bobdylan
Talented wordsmith and guitar player – should not be encouraged to sing.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
david gilmour
(never never never could gilmour teach sid how to play guitar!!!!!!)
1.git that took over from sid when he got lost in the woods for a long long time.
2.made pink floyd rather dull and prog rock forever more boo hoo!
3. isn’t he really Paul Mccartney?
Friday May 23rd, 2025
MusicMatch
MusicMatch Jukebox is one of the best media players around offering loads of features that others dont. AutoDJ, 800,000 song shop, mp3pro, skins, music library, portable device support, etc. Doesn’t yet support Ogg tho Scott’s fave (apart from Winamp 5 
)
Friday May 23rd, 2025
dimlow
Something immensely stupid people call those that they perceive to be of a lower intelligence than themselves
Friday May 23rd, 2025
antidisestablishmentarianism
Against the installtion of dishwashers.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Popstarz
Uber cool gay indie club where all the cute little indie boyz hang out in their t-shirts and ties.
Run by the fantastic Mr. Hobart (well, I’ve never actually spoken to him but I am sure he must be fantastic to have come up with a club night as good as this).
Er...did I mention that its fantastic?
Friday May 23rd, 2025
uncoffeed
To be without your morning coffee
Eg: Scott is uncoffeed this morning
Friday May 23rd, 2025
C&C
Computers & cock.
The main topics made by the occupants of freakcity. Even the crazy women. Can be worked into any conversation. Ever.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Elstree
Elstree ... big TV studio complex. not in elstree at all but in nearby Boreham Wood.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Midlands
that bit in the middle where Crossroads (all versions) was film
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Places the inhabitants of which give her majesty pleasure.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Buckingham
A small town with a large bypass.
Never managed to actually to get into it
I don’t think I’m missing much
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Lamb
Nice choon from John Taverner, as featured in Orange Photo Messaging adverts.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Ultraviolet
Shockingly excellent one-off Channel 4 series, somehow combining a cop show with (a modernisation of) vampire myth. Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Buffy.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
looking at computer screens
something which often gets in the way of being, or doing though not to be confused with thinking
Friday May 23rd, 2025
b3ta
“We love the web” screams it’s headline. Well, if you loved it so much you’d not peddle so much FILTH AND DEPRAVITY on it
Friday May 23rd, 2025
steeple fingers
the action of putting your fingertips together and pushing them up into a steeple whilst laughing maniacally, having just put the hero to death and plotted to destroy the universe
Friday May 23rd, 2025
fucktard
Someone who isn’t blessed with the clever clogs and is frequently battered with the stupid stick
Friday May 23rd, 2025
spiders
scary looking invertebrates with eight legs, lots of eyes and just a fuckin’ creepy shitty look about them AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Pathos
One of the three modes of persuasion in rhetoric. Pathos appeals to the audience’s emotions.
NOT one of the three musketeers
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Social network
What the kids have instead of friends these days. Grmbl.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Corrie
An amazing soap opera set up North. Oh it’s grand. And has a cat miaowing in its opening titles.
Fucking A.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
scott
The epitome of sexual perfection, and my bride-to-be.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Taxi Driver’s Stop-Line
The pedestrian crossing 8ft in front of traffic lights where taxi drivers think they should stop on red.
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Pam Ann
Fabulous air hostess comedian type thing. Hard to explain. Opened for Cher at Wembley (fnarr)
Friday May 23rd, 2025
gardening
Keeps old people alive longer – almost as good as gene-splicing and NHS treatment
Friday May 23rd, 2025
tittybangbang
I’d give this BBC sketchshow a B+ for the line-up of crazy yet real-world characters. Definite signs of a woman’s touch about it.
These quotes may not go down in history, but they make me laugh:
* Maxine Bendix, tender plastic surgery victim with convincing Eastern European accent: “It’s just a little bit of seepage, Frank.”
* Macho garden-centre assistant with too much hair gel and fake tan who is eager to demonstrate the shop’s products (and his packet) to female customers: “Can I be of assistancio-nioh-nioh-nioh-nioh, madam?”
* Don Peacock, Geordie nutter desperate for a lassie to pee on: “And all that and everything reminds me of you.”
* Self-obsessed Italian maid at country house who deliberately puts herself in compromising positions to attract attention (or so she hopes) of passing visitors: “Don’ look at me. I’m shy!”
Friday May 23rd, 2025
life
1) The act of being alive
2) Doing things, "Haveing a life"
Friday May 23rd, 2025
Kylie
Evil pop pixie sent to plague the people of Earth with awful rehashed pop crap
Thursday May 22nd, 2025
colouring in
Involving using felt tip pens and a colouring book.
Going over the lines is considered "wrong"
Monday May 19th, 2025
iPod
Yet another show of genius from the legend that is Steve Jobs – we bow down to you and your mighty Mac.
Sunday May 18th, 2025
Archery
Really quite good fun, and a useful stopgap before you realise that saying you’ll go cycling means school will trust you to leave the campus on a Wednesday afternoon and cycle around South Dartmoor, whereas you actually sit in a field and get stoned lots.
Hypothetically, of course.
Saturday May 17th, 2025
daily mail
Venomous evil poisoned rag written by people who should know better than to write the things they do, but instead think they know better than you how to run your life
Friday May 16th, 2025
Nutmeg
warm, aromatic spice used in a large number of Chrismas dishes and drinks, and available for sprinkling on beverages at Starbucks.
Thursday May 15th, 2025
LOL
Lots of Love, Lots of Laughs.
Cock in Punjabi
LOL Williams, musician from Essex
Wednesday May 14th, 2025
randomness
Chaotic, disorganised, with no discernable order
Monday May 12th, 2025
Assam
Assam is a black tea named after the region of its production (Assam, India). This tea grown at sealevel is known for its body, briskness, malty flavor, and strong, bright color. Historically, Assam is the second commercial tea production region after China. China and Assam are the only two regions in the world with native tea plants. Assam tea revolutionized tea drinking habits since the tea, produced from a different variety of the tea plant, yielded a different kind of tea.
Sunday May 11th, 2025
drunktards
The kind of person who goes out with you for a drink and as the night progresses you realise that the evening to them is more about an excuse to have a drink than your company. Is that harsh? 
Saturday May 10th, 2025
Utility Fuck
Fucking for the sake of fucking. No foreplay, no pizza, no niceties, just horse it in!
Friday May 9th, 2025
dogging
When straight people found what gay guys were upto. They’ll be tea-bagging next.
Wednesday May 7th, 2025
Metro
A newspaper produced free by the makers of the daily_mail and other horrendous rags like that...
Tries really hard to pretend that it’s not a right wing scaremongering piece of trash but occasionally forgets and prints a ranty and rather special article or two.
Tuesday May 6th, 2025
Dwarf
(myth) Short, stubby, tough as nails mythical men who lived in dark caves. Usually mining and melding metals. Known for their thick beards, hatred of elves, and for being totally badass.
Not to be confused with Show White’s dwarfs. They are pansys. real dwarfs are like ninjas. only shorter. and stuff.
Sunday May 4th, 2025
blue curaco
bloody delcious blue liquor which i import in the dozens from spain
Friday May 2nd, 2025
spiders
Scary as fuck. Look at them, they’re evil little bastards!
Thursday May 1st, 2025
Ramsey, Gordon
f*ing chef who f*ing swears too f*ing often and has too many f*ing TV shows