Words of the Day for February 2023
People leave us lovely words in the amusingly named dick, along with short, factual and concise definitions. No really. Here's this month's words so far...
Tuesday February 28th, 2023
Magico-religious system made up in the 1950’s by one Gerald Gardner, mainly by pinching bits from other people’s belief systems, and then mixing it with any excuse for him to have sex with his priestesses.
Monday February 27th, 2023
Fat bitch with ginger pigtails who makes Obese burgers in America
Friday February 24th, 2023
Taking tea in the afternoon
Anna, the Seventh Duchess of Bedford, is credited with originating the afternoon tea in the 1800s to ward off the hunger pangs between lunch and dinner. Earlier, the Earl of Sandwich had thought of putting fillings between two slices of bread. These two culinary inventions led to the popular custom of taking tea and refreshments in the afternoon.
Thursday February 23rd, 2023
Mythical Greek warrior god, hero at battle of Troy, who became jealous after missing out on Achiles’ prized armour, went mad (something to do with cows), and killed himself.
Wednesday February 22nd, 2023
Usually caused by attempting subtlety, interesting farts are usually violet events of many colours and odours and are known by scientists to cause seepage, staining of underwear, a brief but powerful gamma ray burst and unpopularity if released in a social setting.
Monday February 20th, 2023
Sunday February 19th, 2023
I’d give this BBC sketchshow a B+ for the line-up of crazy yet real-world characters. Definite signs of a woman’s touch about it.
These quotes may not go down in history, but they make me laugh:
* Maxine Bendix, tender plastic surgery victim with convincing Eastern European accent: “It’s just a little bit of seepage, Frank.”
* Macho garden-centre assistant with too much hair gel and fake tan who is eager to demonstrate the shop’s products (and his packet) to female customers: “Can I be of assistancio-nioh-nioh-nioh-nioh, madam?”
* Don Peacock, Geordie nutter desperate for a lassie to pee on: “And all that and everything reminds me of you.”
* Self-obsessed Italian maid at country house who deliberately puts herself in compromising positions to attract attention (or so she hopes) of passing visitors: “Don’ look at me. I’m shy!”
Saturday February 18th, 2023
Class C hallucinogen with varying degrees of potency, with a wide range of effects, many of which include laughter-induced incapacity and the occasional generation of truly hilarious insights – which are generally lost amidst the vast amount of crap which is also spouted.
While not terribly addictive, excessive dope use can – unfortunately – make you watch QVC in the mistaken belief that it’s a form of brilliant yet surreal comedy.
Friday February 17th, 2023
The Device sitting in front of you. You mainly Swear bad words at when it DoesnÆt Work,
Does something completely different to what you want it to do.
And Costs a fortune to get fixed.
Note: Computers are like Expensive partners, There lethal to both your bank account and your Credit cards.
Wednesday February 15th, 2023
Death on four wheels. Am in Warsaw trying to cycle and seriously, these guys make London cab drivers look normal.
Monday February 13th, 2023
Sunday February 12th, 2023
When you’re not feeling too well, no matter how old you are, or how much you think you’ve outgrown it, your mum is always there to cook you up some nice dinner and get you a rate nice cup o’ coffee to cheer you up.
And why is it that you can never put on pillow cases or quilt covers as well as your mum?
I think that until the day I die I will still not be able to put on a pillow case without the pillow falling out of it after a few hours. And whenever I put my duvet in a fresh cover it seems to have migrated over to one side of it within minutes.
But when mums do it they have magic staying power. They can go for days without a sign of movement and still have that fresh-bedding feel. It’s some sort of mystical mum-power or something.
Mums are great.
Tuesday February 7th, 2023
Pretentious thing said to be highly significant but which is, in fact, a load of bollocks.
For example, the three red lines and a blue sqiggle that is said, by the artist, to represent their “inner termoil” but which, in fact, represents a big fat cheque and an entry in next year’s Turner Prize.
Monday February 6th, 2023
always leftover on rack after a game of Scrabble... grrr!
Saturday February 4th, 2023
Noun. An term of endearment. E.g."Come on chuck, let’s go out."
Verb. 1. To vomit.
2. To terminate a relationship. E.g."I’m going to chuck her at the weekend, she’s really annoying me with her moaning."