Words of the Day for December 2021
People leave us lovely words in the amusingly named dick, along with short, factual and concise definitions. No really. Here's this month's words so far...
Friday December 31st, 2021
Kermits Mouth
Slang for the shallow hinged flap of scrotum offcuts and nerve endings surgeons fashion into a vagina facsimile in male to female transsexuals. Sex with such an organ is said to be akin to pushing your foot into a shoe whose toe has been stuffed with paper.
Thursday December 30th, 2021
wendy
The branch of Taylor Woodrow that builds colourful houses for children
Wednesday December 29th, 2021
tube surf
The art of looking immensely cool as you travel the underground whilst standing up without using hands. Honest. Dead cool.
Tuesday December 28th, 2021
Orpington
Too dull to be London... but disowned by Kent
Monday December 27th, 2021
Titian
Whilst Titian was mixing Rose Madder
His model climbed up a ladder
The position to Titian suggested coition
So he climbed up the ladder and had ’er
Sunday December 26th, 2021
chav
Noun. A person of working class origin, generally poorly educated, often very casually dressed in sportswear. Derog.
Saturday December 25th, 2021
teabagging
When a drunken compadre has fallen foul to the menace of unconsciousness, his equally drunken comrades will attempt to revive him by smacking their bollocks on his forehead.
Whether he actually wakes up is irrelevant because you will have laughed so much doing it.
Friday December 24th, 2021
Shaking coconuts off of the veiny love tree
Euphamism for Tidying my room
Wednesday December 22nd, 2021
dyke
Noun. A lesbian. Previously used as a derogatory expression but now used and accepted within the lesbian and gay scene. Compare with ‘bull dyke’ and ‘diesel dyke’.
Tuesday December 21st, 2021
Alias
Flipsy show based on a couple of wigs the producers found in storage. Implausable story about a double-agent who travels the world to spy, but always ends up at a glamorous cocktail party with a fab hairpiece. Joyous and one or two fit men to boot. What’s not to love?
Monday December 20th, 2021
doncaster
Train to Leeds sometimes stops there, thankfully not for long.
Friday December 17th, 2021
Co-Op Out
To veg out on chocolate, crisps and other junk/convenience food from your local corner store.
Thursday December 16th, 2021
humans
Bipedal denizens of a largely unremarkable but not entirely unpleasant ball of rock, floating aimlessly somewhere in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable Western Spiral arm of
the Galaxy. Their greatest accomplishments include the construction of the Pyramids at Giza, their triumphant defeat of gravity in 1961, and the cancellation of an (un)popular science fiction series called ‘Enterprise’. Their greatest failures, which significantly outnumber their achievements, include the development of musical ringtones, their evolutionary (and rather vulgar) method of reproduction, the ‘mullet’ hairstyle, and the gratuitous and belligrerently spiteful existence of Gail Porter.
The greatest human mystery remains, of course, Lisa Riley.
Friday December 10th, 2021
Xmas
Xmas is a terrible incurable afflication that affects many people the moment the clocks go back and then continue to cripple them financially and socially well into January.
Only Anti-Xmas antibiotics in the form of alcoholic beverages amongst non Xmas suffers can save us
Thursday December 9th, 2021
flowers poofy stuff like that
All the thing Men aint sposed to like
Wednesday December 8th, 2021
Wogan
Brought out annually to take the piss out of the Eurovision Song Contest
See Eurovision Song Contest
Tuesday December 7th, 2021
cyberspace
Noun. The imaginary place that exists between computers and their users, particularly on the Internet and in virtual reality. The term was coined by the author William Gibson in the book Neuromancer.
Monday December 6th, 2021
blue curaco
Nasty evil sticky substance that takes days to get off your skin when you host a Blues Brothers themed party at Fifer’s Lane residences.
And it’s Blue curaþao dammit. 
Sunday December 5th, 2021
typing
The thing that makes freakcity work. It’s really quite a clever invention which Scott, its inventor, feels could help the human race. Now if only Scott could find a way of stopping the aubergine going off so quick...
Friday December 3rd, 2021
chav
An over-used last season word sometimes used by wannabee Trisha addicts who can’t quite give up their desire to be Lord/Lady Snooty.
Thursday December 2nd, 2021
cumbubbles
Bubbles of mangoo bubbling out of a bottom... usually experienced after a hard in and out bareback session when you have a gallon of spunk and 3 cubic metres of air up you..