I had my interview with the advisor from Remploy yesterday. It seemed fairly positive, though there didn’t seem to be a huge amount going on that he couldn’t have done just from looking over my CV. He was very positive about my CV, however, which is very reassuring. I have lots of good, exciting and diverse stuff on there, apparently – which sounds great, but makes me wonder which CV all those prospective employers have been looking at! Anyway, he’s going to have various conversations with various people, and I have a follow-up appointment booked in two weeks’ time. I’m glad I have someone looking into things on my behalf, because in spite of my desire to get a job, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to get motivated to actually find one. Partly, I think, the time of year is to blame – I suddenly have so many things to fill my time with – a big stack of DVDs to watch, audio plays to listen to, and a new Zelda game to slog through, as well as all the usual term-time stuff going on – that being distracted is easier than ever. Lack of motivation doesn’t mitigate the (mild) depression caused by joblessness, however. I’ve been thinking about something my Mother said over Christmas. She opined that I’ve achieved a lot for someone with autism, in terms of independent living. While this may or may not be true – I don’t really know enough autistic folks to start making patronising comparisons – the problem is that for me, that’s not enough; I don’t judge my life by “autistic peoples’ standards”, I judge my life by regular folks’ standards, I suppose. And most regular folks my age have a job, or a partner, or even their own home. The lack of all three makes me feel… I don’t know. I was going to type, “my life certainly isn’t unhappy, but I’m not sure it’s successful.” But then I started wondering, in terms of judging the success of a life, do I really need any more criteria than “not unhappy”? And if not, then why do I seem to be so hung-up on some? Answers on a postcard, please.