the one that got away Yes its 5am on New Years day and im up and about. I tried to sleep last nite but i couldnt. I shall recap. This xmas ive been feeling very down, not with the spirt at all. Im guessing this was because of my Dad having a Heart attack at the beginning of december. That shook me, a lot. then New Years Eve. I had nothing planned, was gonna have a nice quiet nite in but my freinds at tranceaddict decided to have a NYE Online Radio session, i got 12-1, the best set time of all and i played what i thought was a blinder, i was happy i loved playing, making the music flow for an hour, even playing some camp classic lol! Then my friend pops round, hes someone who i feel for, hes a good person, funny to be around but hes straight. Well i think hes straight gah i dont know Seeing him sitting in this very chair made me happy, i had someone here who liked the music i do, the things i do (well most of them) but i could do anything. i couldnt even bring the courage to ask him to stay. I think thats my main problem is that im shy, for f**ks sake im 31, i shouldnt be shy. Then i get a text message from Jamie, another like i really like, hes gay but going out with someone, that someone could have been me if i had stepped up and asked him out at the time but no, i was shy, i couldnt. I need to re-evaluate my life. Something has to be changed about me, i need to come out of my shell, how i dont know yet but im going to have to or i will be single for ever. My Life sucks, major style, i need to change myself