What i want OK, im becoming a gay snob. I spent this weekend sorting my flat out and copying some of my old videos to DVD. Amongst these i found some videos of me when i was younger, looking at myself then i was poor, had no decent clothes, always out drinking but i seemed happier. I look at myself now and i have money, lots of clothes but i dont go out anymore. I found myself looking down on what i used to be. I also sat in bed last nite trying to get to sleep and failed, i ended up watching The New Statesman and finding myself wanting to be this right wing, getting what i wanted and being rich person. Ive also come to the conclusion that Gaydar is strange, go on it at 8-9pm in the evening and its full of all the old freaks who want to tie u up and ram a 10 inch dildo into you, but i went on at 2am this morning and it was full of nice people, i chatted to a lad called steve from coventry, it was actually an enjoyable chat, we have agreed to meet up during the week at some point. But its back to work this morning and ive actually decided i dont like it here anymore, i wish my job applications would hurry up, i may try and chase it up later, It just dont excite me, maybe this is what it feels like to be unsecure in your job, never felt it before because ive had skills they needed, obvious not any more I also need to sort my finances, they are going oit of control again, my bank balance is looking a deep shade of red and i cant keep living off my credit cards, they will come back and bite me one day. I need money, maybe time to flog some more of that RIMM memory hehehe The thing with Richie seems to be starting and stopping, he ignored me all weekend then started going on about wanting a blow job, i mean are all 19yr old confused lads this strange or is it just me? I need a break from my life, maybe time for a holiday somewhere, any suggestions?