Alastair and I broke up today, Its been in the works for a while, and although it was mutual decision its still hurts like hell. 5 and a half years is a long time to be with someone (in gay terms) so I think I may not get over it that quickly... though I really do hope it will get easier. I’m worried about how Al will deal with it too, he bottles stuff up and its not good for him. So right now I think I’m going to try and keep my mind of it by trying to find a place to stay, its only right that I’m the one to move out as he has been the main breadwinner for years, still we have made this our home, and today that came to an end.. its no longer our home but his. God this is going to take some getting use to. Al says I can stay here for as long as I need but I think it would be best to move out as soon as possible, it will be easier on both of us that way. Grrr my mind is a mess with how much is going to have to change, how much has ended.